Birth Plan

A couple of weeks ago I told you I would share with you my birth plan for this baby.  Prior to being pregnant, I had never heard of such a thing.  I thought having a baby was pretty straight forward.  However, after attending 3 birthing classes and talking to several "been there, done that" mom's I realize this is not the case.  There are a multitude of options when it comes to your baby entering the world.  Your birth plan can contain almost anything you want.  You could almost pretend to have a medical degree, and believe me, some women have! 

But back to my birth plan.  I am a fairly traditional girl, I'm planning on having her at Baptist Hospital and letting my OB deliver her.  I think it's pretty clear at that this point that we love our OB, and I am going to trust him and his recommendations for most (all) medical decisions.  After all, he's delivered hundreds of babies and I've delivered none.  We've learned a ton of stuff in our birthing class and feel like we're informed of our options and what could happen, so I don't think there will be anything too scary or out there that we haven't considered, or been forced into facing.  (Believe me, our last class was intense enough with all the things that could happen... yike-et-y yikes yikes!!!)  Of course, (this goes without saying) I'm hoping for a smooth uncomplicated delivery.

Most of the things that are important enough for me to put down on paper (yes your birthing plan should be on paper, 1 page or less typed and you should bring several copies with you to the hospital in case a shift change during your delivery, FYI) have to do with after delivery.  I've done a lot of research (shocker I know!) and I have some specific requests for after she's born.  So here are my requests:

• As long as my baby is healthy, I would like my baby placed skin to skin on my abdomen with a warm blanket over us.
• Please delay all essential routine procedures on my baby until after the bonding and nursing period
• If the baby needs immediate medical attention, I would like my partner to stay with the baby
• Please allow my partner and I (1) hour bonding time before guests can visit
• My baby is to be exclusively nursed
• DO NOT offer my baby any of the following without my consent:
• Formula
• Pacifiers
• Any artificial nipples
• Sugar water
• Anything to soothe or feed other than myself

While this may seem a little strange to some of you out there in blog reader land, there are reason as to why these things are important to me.  There have been numerous studies done show the benefits of holding your baby against your skin as soon as she's born.  But beyond those, I think birth is also traumatic for my little one.  I want to be able to bring a sense of calm back into her little world.  I've taken care of her for the past 9 1/2 months, I want to her to know I'm still there to keep her warm and make her feel safe.  Some of the stuff they do to your baby can wait until things have calmed down a bit.

The other bullet points about nursing are important to me because I want to give myself the best shot at being successful.  It can be stressful enough learning how to feed your baby, that I don't want to confuse her by shoving a bunch of different things in her mouth.  By instinct, a baby knows how to nurse, however mom's don't.  It's a learning process, or can be, and I want to be successful, so I'm doing what I can to make that happen.

I do have a few other specific things on our plan that I'll go ahead and share.  I realize this a boring post, but if your like me, you want to know everything... So here they are:

• Upon arrival at the hospital, I want to have my partner with me at all times
• Please keep the door shut while I'm in labor
• I DO NOT want a mirror or video of any sort during delivery (delivery is gross! The moment your child enters the world is beautiful, don't get me wrong.  But before that, it's not pretty)
• If a C-Section becomes neccissary, please show me my baby immediately after she's born
• I prefer to have a hand free to touch my baby
• If the baby need medical attention, I prefer my partner to stay with the baby
• If the baby is healthy I would like my partner to be the baby's constant source of attention until I am free to bond with her (i.e. holding, skin to skin, etc.)

So there you go, that's our birth plan in a nutshell.  Nothing to fancy or complicated.  In fact, I believe a lot of it is stuff they do automatically anyway now a days, but it doesn't hurt to put it out there that these things are important to me.  After all, how will they know if I don't tell them ;-)

(And yes, today I like typing with (parenthesis))

How To Birth A Baby

What is a "birthing class?"

I've been fielding that question a whole lot lately. Namely because I have to explain why I'm unavailable to anyone who wants to make any plans or do anything on a Wednesday night between 6:30-8:30 p.m. from now until the baby is born. Most people have an acute lack of understanding as to exactly what a birthing class is, and a further query as to why I would have to be in attendance, other than for obvious moral support.

It's a smallish class of first time breeders who yearn for more education about the life-changing process they're already going through. Basically, where facts trump wives' tales and experience reaches the unexperienced.

My basic grasp of it going in was that we are outright paying someone to tell us about which cocoa butter to buy, how to properly breathe while in labor, and a few other minor tips and tricks to put mommy-to-be's mind at ease. While I still have a blind faith that most of this will be covered during the six week span, so far it has resembled a support group and remedial sex-ed combined. Interesting? To say the least.

Jenni was really looking forward to this going in. Being this is her maiden voyage into motherhood, she's dying to get any help she can to settle her busy little mind. I agreed to go with her, knowing this could indeed get weird and wondering to myself if I would be the only guy in a room full of very pregnant women. She really wanted me there. And if nothing else, the experience would be... unique.

Upon entering the first class, I noticed 6 other couples already spread out across the room. The guys looked a bit timid, much like I was, and the semi-blank expressions and polite half-smiles on their faces told me that this was also not their idea. Jen and I proceeded to sign in and partake in the free cookies and lemonade to the right. Once the class started, the teacher introduced herself as a life-long nurse and a mother herself and came off as very warm and friendly.

Over the next two hours, we got to watch slides of what the female body looked like from the inside, complete with color-coded organs. Not only did I get a good visual of the layout of Jen's digestive and reproductive areas, I also learned priceless nuggets such as "your baby is swimming in it's own urine" and "make sure to pack a tube sock full of flakseeds in your hospital bag."

We got to watch a short movie about different types of pregnant women and their unique experiences during pregnancy. Not to be Roger Ebert at a birthing class, but this thing was poorly acted... all the women actors faked some kind of discomfort that was probably meant to be back pain but ended up looking like they had gas. I also couldn't help but notice that they decided to cast one white couple, one black couple, one hispanic couple and one woman who was pretty much abandoned by her sperm donor. Apparently it's super-important to maintain diversity and cover all the stereotypes during a 15 minute infomercial.

The teacher also covered how the baby would exit the body (in case there were still lasting suspicions that a stork will be coming), which managed to fill Jenni with that massive burst of fear and terror that we had both been procrastinating: yep, it's gonna get even bigger, and then violently and with limited warning, it's going to do a cannonball through your hips and lady parts with little regard for either.

I really did not want Jenni to concentrate on that part yet. I was hoping we'd still deal with buying stuff for the baby, how to organize the room, what to name her (apparently "baby" isn't working), etc. Now I have to try to get that petrified, speechless look off her face... you know, like the kind of look Bambi must have had when her mom died. It's kind of like a six book series where they give away the ending in the first book. Thank you very much, know-it-all teacher.

What could be in store for us tonight? I can't begin to imagine. :-)

That Moment

I finally had that moment.  You know that moment when you can actually picture yourself with a cute little bundle of joy.  Up till this point, she's been sort of an ideal, not really based in my reality.  Sure I've loved being pregnant, and I've always wanted children, but I haven't been able to picture myself with a baby all my own.  When I see a baby I think to myself "I hope I have a baby one day" instead of "gee I'm having a baby soon".  So while I've been preparing and going through the emotions associated with becoming a parent, I couldn't picture her.  I'm not sure if I am explaining this very well... but I'm writing this post more to remind myself of this moment.

You see, I have been thinking about her a lot lately.  (I wonder why!?) And I've wondered what it will be like when she gets here.  I've been preparing for the sleepless nights and hard work and even being ok with all the gross stuff that apparently baby's do.  But I haven't really been picturing all the wonderful things that are headed my way.  I guess I've been pretty practical when it comes to having her.  But the other night, I was browsing in a baby section checking out those bouncy activity centers, when I could actually picture her playing in one.  Like see her little body and face and hear her giggles, and I got excited!  Like giddy almost!  It really dawned on me that I'm going to have a beautiful wonderful baby all my own.  I won't have to share her with anyone (of course that's a misstatement, but you know what I mean...)  I'll be "mom".  I'll get to hold her as long as I want.  I'll be the one she wants for comfort.  I'll be the one she's passed back to when she gets a little fussy and makes whoever is holding her uncomfortable.  It's going to me, no... it's going to be us!  And I can't wait until she gets here!  It's going to be so cool watching her learn and explore and grow.  I can't wait to teach her things and learn new life lessons myself.

I have one of the best things in life headed my direction soon and I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas!  It's made even better by the fact that Mike and I are a strong team, our families are a strong support system and this little one will be loved beyond measure!  I know God has created another one his masterpieces in her and I can't wait for the reveal.  It's going to be awesome, epic, (I need a bigger word here)!!!  Stay tuned, it's gonna get good!

Current FAQ's

So I'm sure most of you have read Mike's entry on the baby name dilema we find ourselves in.  He also mentions the repetiveness of questions we get asked by all sorts of people.  Therefore, I'm doing another FAQ that will hopefully let y'all in on a few more details about our little one:

Ooooh, you getting big.  How many months are you now?
Well again, this question depends on how long you think pregnancy is.  If you are of the 9 month mindset, we are 7.5 months.  If you are of the 10 month (40wk) mindset we are 8.25 months (33wks).

Do you have a name?
No.  We're working on it.  But I won't officially name her anything until she is born and I can look at her beautiful face. (I'm not biased already ~ haha!)  I believe a name has to fit the person, and I won't know if whatever we are leaning toward fits until I see her.

Are you excited?
Yes, I am excited and nervous.  I really can't wait to meet the little girl who has been sharing my body for the past umteen months.  I daydream about her personality and what she'll look like, who she'll become, what she'll be passionate about etc.  But I'm also still nervous to start this chapter of my life.  Oh, I think it will be vastly rewarding, but it is completely new.  But yeah, I'm excited!

Getting close, is the nursery ready?
Well, we are actually not setting up a nursery right now.  Mike and I will be moving into a house in April, and that is where we will be setting up the official nursery.  As for the current situation, I am not quite there yet.  I will have a basinet and changing table in my room along with some other miscellaneous newborn things.  But since she will only be a month and half when we move, there is no point in overcrowding my limited living space with stuff she won't need until later.  On that note, Mike is being a big help in moving all the many bins I have packed up to storage so there will be space for her when she arrives.  It's kinda funny, I keep insisting that these bins are extremely heavy, and he lifts them like they are packed with feathers...  which they so are not!  Regardless, poor thing has become my personal mover of all things bulky or heavy.  Good thing he loves me!

So do you know where you will deliver?
Yes.  We are planning (finger's crossed) to have her at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  My OB practices out of that hospital and I've had a really good experience with them.  Plus, it's rated number one for hospital births in the area.  Bonus!

Are you planning to nurse?
Kind of a personal question, I'm not used to being a completely open book with everyone I meet, but yes.  I do plan on nursing.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly and work out.  I am taking a class on this subject matter next week to be more prepared for possible obsticles.

Speaking of classes are you taking any?
Yes, as mentioned, I will be taking a class on nursing (which I need to insert a big shout out to my mom for agreeing to come with me!  I love you!) and then Mike and I will be taking a 6 week birthing class as well (you go once a week).  I have to say that I'm a little nervous about completing the course, because the last class is on Feb. 15th just 5 days before my due date.  We really are in the home stretch!

So what names are on the short list?
Really.  We don't have a name picked out.  I really really really(!) liked the name Sadie, but Mike has since veto'd it.  I had him just about convinced when he saw like 3 shows straight all with dogs named Sadie in them and he ruled it out.  I, of course, point out everytime I see a little girl named Sadie referenced anywhere, but it hasn't helped.  We are back to square one.  I would say some of the names we are considering, but I feel like it's too wishy washy to even do that.

When is your shower?
Now this is actually a good question, I have no idea.  I am hopeful to have a date worked out for it soon.  But it should be towards the end of the month.

How long are you taking for maternity leave?
I will be taking 8 weeks as of now.  I wish I could take more time, but I don't think that's a possibility at this point.  It will, of course, be hard to come back to work so soon.  But Mike will be taking care of her while I work, so it's comforting to know that she'll be with her daddy instead of in day care.  On the two days a week where our schedules overlap by about 2 hours, she'll be staying with Mike's mom right up the street from where I work.

Do you have a birth plan?
I have an idea of things I would like to happen, but I haven't written out an actual plan yet.  Our baby is quite healthy (i.e. large) so my plan is going to have to be pretty flexible when it comes down to it.  Most of what is really important to me about the birth are for after she's already here and have to do with her care.  I'll try to write a post about those things soon(ish).

And finally, How are you feeling?
Well I'd be lying if I said it was still a breeze.  Mostly I'm still doing great.  I got a little overwhelmed and emotional before Christmas.  I had a couple of embarrasing moments where I started crying and my rational brain knew it was ridiculous.  Once was at the mall on Christmas Eve, I really should've known better than to go there right before the holiday on my own.  And the second was picking out a birthday card for my big brother.  This one was truely ridiculous, as the card I read that set it off wasn't mushy or overly emotional, but there I was, in Target, crying in the card aisle.  My tearducts have a tendancy to be over active anyway (I'm that girl that cries every time I laugh, and when I get really mad, and when there's any type of allergy in the area, and any other time they feel) But now I can't trust them at all. 

But back to the point.  I'm a little front heavy at the moment.  I'm becoming aware of my belly more and more.  I misjudge where I end a lot.  It is very strange for me to sit cross legged right now because my whole lap is taken up with the belly, even that space in between my legs.  I feel like my legs are hugging her when I sit like that.  I'm also incredibly clumsy right now.  I don't know how many times a day I drop something for no reason other than my hand decides to let go.  And as much as I hate to admit this, I waddle.  It's true, I'm slow as dirt and I waddle.  Don't feel bad for me though!  I can still pick things up that I dropped, and get up and down off the floor, and I'll make it to where ever I'm going eventually.  I haven't had a lot of pain, so I still consider it mostly good.  Plus I still can sleep in between bathroom breaks, which is a super bonus!

Whoops!  True to form I forgot something.  I also have massive pregnancy brain.  I forget stuff all the time.  This is probably the most frustrating thing at the moment.  I feel like a complete ditz several times a day! 

My baby is how big?

**Warning this post contains pictures from inside of me**


So we just got back from the baby doctor.  We were scheduled to have an ultra sound today as my fundal height has been measuring about 4cm large.  I bet you can't guess how big our sweet baby girl is...  Let me preface this by saying the average fetus at this stage is around 3.75 lbs on average.  Babies are also putting on around a half a pound a week from here on out.  I'm letting you in on this information so you can grasp the surprise we were faced with today.

I've known that large babies run in our family forever.  My mom's children ranged from 8.5-10.8.  So I wasn't too surprised when he said that she may be a bit bigger, but wanted to check her weight anyway.  Leena, our ever sweet ultrasound tech, took us back to look at the little one. She was being somewhat active this morning, so we did get to see her doing some pretty cool stuff.  For awhile she was sucking on her hand and we could see her little tongue bobbing in and out.  Then she grabbed her toes and was double kicking me with her foot and hand together.  She also turned and looked at us to say hi. All in all there were very sweet moments realizing just how developed she is now.  I'm confident that (God forbid) anything were to happen where we'd have to deliver early, she'd be just fine.  She's already filling out into a newborn.

Chewing on hand

32 weeks hand and arm

32 weeks profile

This one is harder to see, but she's grabbing her foot with her hand



So now that the fun stuff was over, it was time to take the measurements.  They measured the circumference of her head and belly and few other parts to put together their best estimate.  We asked how accurate these measurements are, and she said usually within a half pound or less.  She then pulled up this graph that shows where average babies are and where we were currently sitting.  Curious yet as to how big our child is?  Because I was....

She is weighing in at a whopping 5.5 lbs already!  On the graph she was teetering right below the upper line.  Still "average" but really close to being larger than average.  If that won't make a new mom's mind spiral into scenarios about birthing a baby, I don't know what will... I have (up till this point) conveniently avoided thinking about having to birth a baby at all.  My mental blocks fell today as the reality hit that this child has to enter the world somehow. 

I'm somewhat nervous about sharing this information with the general public, as I'm scared it will inspire even more mothers with horror birth stories to share.  If you've had a large baby and have some horrifying tidbit to share, please don't.  I don't need any help coming up with stuff; and if I haven't imagined it, I don't need to now.

I am happy that our baby girl is healthy and I love her no matter what.  That hasn't changed, nothing really has except my perception of how this could go.  Our doctor said that it's nothing to freak out over.  It just means she'll likely be over 9lbs.  It may also mean an alternate birthing plan when it comes down to it, but we'll take that one contraction at a time when the time comes.  He said we should prepare ourselves to go a little earlier also.  There are still a lot of unknowns, but it adds to the adventure of having a baby.

So there's our update from today.  We have a healthy little girl in there (that was also confirmed again today).  She's looking good and is active as ever. 

Is It Time to Panic Yet?

Join me in my slightly panic'd mind:

There is a line from the TV show Friends that keeps running through my head...

"You're going to have a baby and you need to be prepared for it."

This year the holidays have been very unusual for me.  I am normally totally into Holiday's and like to decorate and get into the spirit of things.  But this year, it's as if my brain has switched off and is refusing to acknowledge the season has already approached and is nearly over now.  I've been trying to figure out why this is, and I think I've come to a conclusion...

Once the holiday's are over, there's nothing left to focus on except the imminent arrival of baby Gill.  I'm starting to get very nervous about having a baby.  And by having a baby, I don't mean the actual birth, I mean the responsibility and life altering changes I'm about to encounter.  I don't want to say that I'm intimidated by these changes, merely that it's a realm and a world that I can't comprehend right now.  And these thoughts make me apprehensive.  Nearly every parent I've encountered and had a conversation with has told me that there is nothing like raising a child to turn your world upside down.

I feel like I've lived my life in stages.  The first stage being "growing up".  The time when I was safe within my parents bubble and it felt like no harm could ever come to me as long as I was with them.  The second stage being "independence".  This is the stage that I'm currently in.  The time when you've left your parents bubble, faced the world head on and whether you sink or swim is up to you and you alone.  I'm comfortable in this stage because every decision I've made while in this stage only affects me.  If I succeed or fail miserably at something it's only myself that will have to deal with the consequences.  Not to say that I don't have family and friends that will share in those emotions, but you know what I mean.  It's my decision for my life and I am responsible for how I choose to live it.  I can jump into anything with both feet because they're my feet, I know my limitations, and I trust myself to be able to handle the outcome.

But now comes "parenthood"...  Complete and total responsibility for another human being.  I can't look at life the same way.  I will be responsible for creating that safe bubble for my child.  I will have to make all the decisions for this helpless little being until she matures enough to handle those decisions herself.  I know I have Mike to share in this responsibility, and we have a great support system.  But really, it's up to us.  Mike, being the self assured veteran at this, told me last night that I'm over thinking things.  He was being so sweet in trying to reassure me that everything will be fine, but he said something to me that I haven't been able to get out of my mind: "Being a parent is the one time in life that your opinion is fact". <--- (Scary!)   He went on to say that there are no perfect parents.  There are no right answers, and there's never going to be a report card for how your doing.  He said he knows how I work and that I can read all the books and articles I want, but no parent was good at it to begin with, and every one of them made mistakes.   I guess that's true, but it's still intimidating.  I want to be the best mom I can be, and I don't know how to prepare because I don't know what lies in our future.  Every baby is different and the world is constantly evolving, so there is no sure fire way to be ready.

I'm hoping these sentiments are normal and every new mommy to be goes through this.  It's just really starting to get real.  Two months until our due date.  That is not a lot of time considering yesterday was Thanksgiving and Halloween was last week.  My rational mind knows we'll be fine and it will be wonderful, but my insecure emotional mind is winning the battle right now.  Maybe it's just the holidays and everyone reminding me that the next time they see me I'll have had the baby...

Me with a baby.  I've got to get used to that thought...


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In other news, we have started going to the doctor every two weeks.  During our next appointment, between Christmas and New Year's, I'll be getting another ultrasound to check the baby's size and position as I'm still measuring large.  Large babies run in my family, so I'm not too concerned about it, but keep us in your thoughts and prayers anyway.  Also, last week was the first time Mike and my sister could see the baby move just by looking at my stomach and that Bethany got to feel her.  (She's really shy when it comes to other people feeling her....)

Thanks for checking in with us ~ I'll try to be better at posting regularly :)

I Say We Just Name The Baby "Baby"

Recently, I've been feeling pretty intense pressure to start defining a list of names for the unborn bundle of joy we presently refer to as "baby Gill". Mostly because a thousand people have been coming up to us and asking, "What are you gonna name the baby??"

When I announce that I don't know and I don't yet have a list of possibles, they give me this befuddled look and accompany it with this tilt of their head that is similar to what a dog does when you make a noise it does not understand. "Well, shouldn't you be thinking of names?? It's only a couple of months away now."  Yes, I should be. But since this isn't a movie script and I don't need a working title until it's finished, I have ruled out spending hours laboring over baby names only to come up with one 5 months before she's born and subsequently having second thoughts and changing it a thousand times up until she's born.

I like to imagine that Jenni and the baby are growing a maternal bond right now and that, through this magical bond, one name will speak louder than the rest and at least give us a direction to go in. Plus I suck at picking baby names and I really just want her to do it. Don't tell her I said that. Shhh...

Right now, she's leaning towards Sadie. That's fine by me, but I have a feeling that's not going to be the final product. Why? Because it's freaking December and the baby isn't due until February 20th. Factor in that the decision will be made by a woman who is in the third trimester (and likely to become increasingly more fragile and hormonal with every passing day) and a man who would exceed his creative limitations by naming a dalmatian "Spot", and pretty much anything is fair game at this stage.

We are a somewhat indecisive team, Jenni and I. Picking out restaurants can be emotionally exhausting at times, for both of us. But I think that will make this both fun and interesting down the stretch.

The only part of this equation that sucks is that all these people are getting antsy and trying to squeeze a name out of me. I am not a mobster kingpin and this is not an interrogation room, people... I don't know who he works for or where the loot is hidden. If you try and beat it out of me, you're just gonna wind up with a mess and no answer.

This unrelenting questioning is starting from my own family first. I do understand why, though. Mom wants to get started on knitting things for the new grandbaby, and my siblings want their opportunity to Christmas shop with a name in mind. My friends and co-workers are probably just asking to make small talk when they see me, but I'm pretty certain they could care less. Still, it contributes to the volume of the same question-and-answer process.

So let this be a warning to you over-zealous little badgers... keep it up at this rate, and I'm gonna name the newborn "Baby".

What??

Yes, I said it. And if you know me, and if you know Jenni, you know that I could pull this off.

If it's one other thing we share, it's a wild sense of humor. I often thing that's the only thing we have in common and part of the only reason she's kept me around all these years. Which is fine by me. After all, if she was only just about my looks, she may have left me a while back when my hair started running away and my belt line start approaching a 36. I suppose as long as I don't become a manic depressive, I'll always have a fighting chance. :-)

Anyways...

I could totally convince her to name it Baby. And the whole world would be quite irritated. And I would smile.

I'd probably have to provide an "out clause", like promise that we would change it after a couple of months or something like that. But could you imagine what those couple months would be like? Totally amazing. At least from our perspective. 

I could watch all the strangers on the street or in the mall who come up and ask,"What's her name?" become totally horrified when I tell them "Just baby," and then pull out the matching birth certificate to prove it. Someone call MTV, this could be a reality show hit!

Plus, we could watch her features develop and then appropriate a name based on what she would look like. I think everyone, in their mind, has a certain look for names like Nancy, Ann, Heather, Brittney, etc. So maybe that could be a nice plus.

None of this is in line to happen as of yet... but keep it up with the full court press, and all this could be a possibility. So just hold your water, everybody. We're working on the problem and we'll get back to you soon.

Don't be that person who causes our child to have an ambiguous first name. :-D