Oh-Two-dles, Only 6 Months Late...

Oi Ve!  I just realized after my last post, that I haven't blogged at all in 2014.  I'm such a slacker!

Sarah's 2nd birthday, what a struggle this little party was!  Back in February when Sarah was turning 2, we had the month of sickness in our house.  We literally postponed her party 3 times because Sarah was sick and we wanted her to be able to enjoy herself, and we didn't want to get any other kids sick.  It was so frustrating.  In the end, it ended up being just a tiny little family party because it just didn't work out any other way. 

The theme for her 2nd Birthday was Oh-Two-dles or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I had so many idea's for her birthday party, and I went way overboard with all the craft projects.  I made a toodles, complete with mousketools that was supposed to be a game during the party.  My idea was that we would be calling for toodles throughout the party to bring us the things we needed to continue the party. I bought a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse CD and planned on using different songs from it throughout. But with Sarah being the only kid there, we didn't do this activity. Whomp whomp.

My other activity for the party was a bubble dance party.  (Toodles was going to bring us the bubbles). Our dance song was Party at Mickey's House from the CD.  We did do this at Sarah's little party.  I still feel so bad that her party didn't happen the way it was supposed to.  It was just really bad luck.  Sarah battled the stomach flu, croup, and a nasty cold, back to back.  Poor baby had it rough that month!  You can see the effects of all the sickness in her poor little face.  But anyways, after dancing in the bubbles it was time for presents.  She loved opening her presents herself this year, and it was fun to watch her do it.  Then we had her special ice cream cake.  It took me forever to find a local place that did ice cream cakes and had Mickey Mouse themed decorations.  But I worked it out, and luckily she wanted an ice cream cake, because it sat in our deep freeze for a month before we were able to eat any of it ~ haha!  

So let's go through her decorations really quickly.  I ordered some custom centerpieces for her party from a shop on etsy.  They came disassembled and I had to put them together.  They sent us multicolored tissue paper, but after doing one, I decided to just use the red and yellow.  We got these huge Mickey and Minnie balloon's that were bigger than Sarah, so she had a lot of fun playing with them for a few weeks.  They each received tons of hugs and were dragged around the house.  Let's see, what else?  I used a lot of Sarah's toys for decorations, she already had the Mickey Mouse figures around the Minnie centerpiece, as well as the Mickey and Minnie on the mantel.  We had a hot-diggity-dog bar with mini corndogs, bagel dogs, and pigs in a blankets to satisfy the food requirement.

Growing up in my family, whenever anyone has a birthday or has achieved something, they get to use the "red plate".  I have very fond memories of feeling really special when it was my turn.  We always sat down to dinner together and it was very obvious when the red plate was set out.  It just a little thing that goes so far in making you or anyone feel special.  So I wanted to start the same tradition in our family.  Sarah was the first one to get to use the red plate in our family.  My hope is that it will mean something to my kids as it did to me. 

The little hat was another purchase off of etsy.  What did we do before etsy and Pinterest?  She wasn't super fond of it (because of the elastic strap).  But it was really cute!

So yeah, that's Sarah's birthday in a nutshell.  Like I said (over and over) it didn't turn out the way I dreamed it up in my head, but I know she had a fantastic time, and she felt special, and that's all that really matters.  I can't believe my little girl is growing up so fast.  I mean she's nearly 2 1/2 at the time of this post.  Where does the time fly?  I'm so proud of my sweet little girl.  I couldn't ask for a better kid and wouldn't trade her for the world!

A Funny Little Story

It's been forever since I've blogged!  To be honest I kinda sort-of forgot about it... whoops!  But I wanted to do a quick little post about a incident lately with Sarah that I just want to document so I don't forget it.

So Sarah is now almost 2 1/2.  To go through a little background, we thought we had potty trained Sarah, but she regressed and is wildly inconsistent, so basically she's not potty trained and is going through a phase of near absolute refusal to use the potty.  She is knows what she is supposed to do, but I think that because it's our idea and not hers, she is just refusing to do so.  So that is where we are at for this story to make any kind of sense.

So the other day, she had to potty.  She is has very easy to read signs for impending accidents.  She was doing all of her signs so I made her go and sit on the potty.  Now usually once you get her to stop playing and in the bathroom she'll go ahead and do it.  Well on this particular day she decided she didn't want to do it.  Just straight up refused.  Now, I've always had the mindset of: you need to try.  If you try and it doesn't work, fine, you can get up and we'll try again later.  So I think you can see where this is headed.

Sarah likes distractions to help her go, a book, song, a little toy to play with, etc.  So, she asked for a book.  I got a book and read it to her, and she didn't go.  Then she asked for some toys, so I got them, and she didn't go.  Then she wanted to play Endless Alphabet on my phone.  At this point, I am getting frustrated, so I made a deal with her.  She could play it if she would go to potty.  She agreed.  I let her do three words before making her stop and try.  Well she wouldn't try.  So I took the phone away.  I told her we had a deal, and she needed to try to get it back.

Enter the dreaded i-am-two-you-have-no-power-over-me-tantrum.  So I did what I always do when faced with this type of reaction.  I very calmly put my phone away and told her that when she is finished we can talk and I looked away from her.  I corrected her when I needed to, like when she tried to kick me, I told her we don't kick, and if she did it again I was going to leave her. She stopped kicking.  But she still screamed, and when she started screaming mommy.  I looked at her and calmly said, "Yes honey?" but then she'd just scream again, so I said "You look really upset, when you're ready to calm down and talk I'm right here" and looked away.  This went on for a little while. She threw everything into her screaming and crying.  Every time she said my name, I did the same thing.  I never left her, I never yelled back.

I've been teaching Sarah to take a deep breath when she's upset for as long as I can remember.  So she gets to the point where she says "I need a deep breath" and bless her heart, she proceeds to try to calm herself down with her breathing.  At this point, my mommy heart, while frustrated, is so proud of her for remembering how to calm down.  But she looked really funny as she threw her head back and very dramatically sucked in these ragged breaths and tried to calm down.  At which point I helped her calm down by rubbing her leg and soothing her.  Then when she was calm I asked if she was ready to try to go potty.  She said yes and really tried.  So I let her down and cleaned her up from the potty and tantrum.  Then we went to sit down together.

So I firmly believe in talking to my children when stuff like this happens, so I can understand how they feel and she can understand why I wasn't doing what she wanted me to do.  So we are talking and she understood that I just wanted her to try, and that when we say we'll do something, we have to do it.  And all that stuff.  I asked her why she didn't want to go and how she felt.  (I didn't get much of answer, but she's two. I know she understood everything I was saying).  So she's cuddle up on my lap and I'm just holding her, she's still doing her deep breaths.  When she very timidly tells me...

"Mommy I need some chocolate"

Let that sink in for a minute.  "Mommy I need some chocolate".  Me: "You do?"  Sarah: "Yes, to make me feel better".  Me: "Oh".  Now what the heck am I supposed to do with that?  On one hand, I don't want to reward a tantrum.  On the other hand, she just threw a fit, but was able to calm herself down and did what I asked.  Hmm.... (Oh! and it should be mentioned, that I have NEVER said that I need chocolate when I'm upset - I don't think anyone has around her, so this is totally 100% her idea).

So we both had a bite a chocolate and let it all go.

At least I know what to have on hand as she grows up.  I think I have the girliest toddler, ever.


Oh, and here's a cute picture of her from this past weekend, just because ;)

Those Things That Make Her... Her (on jumping)

You know, I always have these blog idea's rolling around my brain that it seems I never take the time post about.  This topic, is one that is so completely obvious if you spend anytime around my child (which I know most of you don't).  I know that I have mentioned this particular Sarah thing in many other posts, but I really wanted to take the time to write about just this trait. 

Sarah is a jumper, she has been a jumper for most of the past year.  As far as I can remember, it was like it her mission to go through all the motions of learning gross motor skills just to get to jump.  (See, this is why I need to blog more, because time frames get fuzzy)  For forever Sarah has jumped all day long.  You can always find Sarah is a crowd of kids, just look for the bopping head.  When anyone asks about Sarah one of the first things they ask is "Is she still jumping all the time?"  The answer is yes. Yes, she still jumps all the time.  It's just how she shows excitement, and happiness, and joy.  And she's a happy kid, so yeah, the jumping lasts all day long.

Literally almost everything can get a jumping reaction: 
Sarah do you want to wear your black sparkly heart shirt today? A jumping yes reaction before grabbing it from me to "put on"
Sarah notices I filled the basket with wipes. A jumping reaction "Well looky there!" "So many!" "Wow!"
Sarah do you want to go outside and play? A jumping reaction "outside" "out there" "socks and shoes" "jacket" "hold hands!"

And always, always, always jumping!

And those are just a few normal everyday things that I mentioned.  Things that she really loves the jumping last longer and is way more intense. Like say we let her watch TV and it's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or we tell her she can have a doughnut or yogurt raisins (her all time favorite treats).  She just can't contain her pure joy and it has to come out and it comes out straight through her feet in the form of jumping.  It one of those things that is just... her.

As you can probably guess, her favorite thing to do at the gym is jump on the trampoline.  The other parents ask me how we taught her to jump so well, but I don't have an answer.  We didn't teach her to jump, she just does it.  God gave her this talent, this joy.  She has this incredible balance and energy. And I love it.  I love it. I love seeing her jumping, I love seeing her joy.  I love seeing her athleticism, I love to see her hopping at the door when I come home from work.  It's just a part of what makes her... her.

I have no idea what she will end up doing with jumping, maybe be a trampoline gymnast, maybe track and field, maybe basketball, maybe karate, maybe dancing, maybe nothing.  I just know that it is inherently a part of her, and it is part of all the many many wonderful things that makes her who she is.

Our Top Halloween Toddler Books

In my last post, I talked about how I went out and bought a bunch of Halloween books for Sarah.  It took a lot of searching to find good toddler books for a kid Sarah's age (20 months, in October, she's 21 months now).  Especially since I was relying on books lots from ebay and whatever happened to be at our local thrift stores.  So, I wanted to share a few of the books that Sarah seemed to really enjoy, and I'll explain why she enjoyed them.




This book was instantly a hit with Sarah, she really enjoys the interaction of slide and find.  Each page presents the toddler with a new activity.  Some focus on riddles to figure out what is hiding, some ask you to count how many things are on the page.  Sarah loved that every page was different.







This book is a simple little board book that is basically the five little pumpkin poem, and let's face it, what kid doesn't like that poem right!? But the illustrations are super cute in this version and Sarah loved just love it.








This little book is a great transitional book that is somewhere between a board book and regular page book, so just be aware if your child is younger or is rough on books.  This is another book that rhymes and is a little repetitious, which is great because the child learns to anticipate what is coming and can "help" you read.  It also has a different surprise for the child on each page.  For example, one is a lift the flap, one is a curved mirror.  So Sarah really enjoyed reading this one!






This was one of the few books I paid more for, but we love the Stinky Face books!  The original makes a regular appearance in our bedtime reading sessions.  This one is a little longer, so I know that not all 20 month olds could sit through it, but it is super cute and imaginative.









This was the first Halloween book that was a big hit with Sarah.  I think it had the best explanation of dressing up, trick or treating, and all that.  It is a paper book, but the illustrations are adorable (a little old fashioned) and it's just plain cute.








This has got to be the simplest book ever (and it's tiny). It's literally a picture book that has a few sounds of Halloween spelled out, example picture of a witch with "cackle" written above.  But Sarah thought it was so funny when I would do the noises.  This is also the first book I caught Sarah "reading" to herself.  It was so stinking cute!  So this had to make into my top toddler Halloween books!




We had quite a few other Halloween books, some of them were good for showing actual kids with painted faces, some were cute stories, a lot were what you would expect of a toddler book on Halloween.  I really think it helped to talk about all the things she was seeing when we were out and about at stores or friends homes or whatnot.  We did a lot of talking about pretend and letting her feel decorations that were scary looking.  She loved pointing out black cats, skeletons, pumpkins, etc. and I think the books really helped with naming those things that aren't normally around and explaining things like trick or treating and pumpkin carving.  So if you have a little one, I would highly suggest throwing some good books into rotation for the month of October.  I think it made a world of difference!

Now that Halloween is over, I've put up all of the Halloween specific books, but kept the fall/autumn books out and added some Thanksgiving books to the mix to get her ready for the next Holiday.  I just put them out over the weekend, so I'm not sure which ones will come out as favorites.  I'll try to do an update after Thanksgiving to let you know which were the front runners.  Do your kids love books?  Do you try to spice things up around the holiday's and add some festive books to the mix?  Let me know ~ thanks for stopping by!

October Recap

Hi!  So I wanted to do a quick recap of our October/Halloween fun.  This month has been a little crazy for us schedule wise, so we didn't get everything on my to-do list done, but we got some it accomplished.  We took Sarah to the pumpkin patch and corn maze right by our house on the 12th.  It was a beautiful afternoon and we all enjoyed being outside and showing Sarah the pumpkins, corn, goats, bunnies, etc.  It was so much fun teaching her things now that she is getting big enough to understand a little of what is going on around us.

It's still amazing to me to see and hear just how much she has learned this past year.  We've talked about farm animals for such a long time, that she was so excited to feed a goat, and to see a bunny hop. And to be able to tell me she saw pumpkins.  It was super important to me to get books and talk about fall and Halloween with Sarah for the whole month of October.  So I started searching for toddler books at thrift stores, Goodwill, Ebay, etc. (Hey, books are expensive!) to have a good stock built up long before the month started.  Then I changed out most of her books to just be fall/Halloween so we could really talk about the changing weather and that Halloween was pretend, and give her a good understanding of trick-or-treating, pumpkin carving, changing leaves, face painting etc.

This next picture is just super cute to me, because Sarah has recently been really into sitting on things that are just the right size for her.  She loves to find little places just big enough for her to sit, so when we went into the pumpkin patch, she insisted on sitting on one of those round fat pumpkins that was the perfect size for her.  The only problem was that it was exactly cooperating staying upright, so Mike had to help hold her steady, but when she made it work, this was her smile.

Other than this day, Sarah go to go to her little gym's Halloween party.  I kid you not, from the time we walked through the door, to when we left, Sarah did not stop jumping.  She only stopped long enough to zoom from one end of the gym to the other to continue to bounce.  She loved pointing out the different kids who were dressed up that she recognized, as Minnie Mouse, or pirate, monster, etc.  I told myself, after that party, that if this was the only thing she got to do for Halloween it was enough, she has that much fun!  (Plus she slept great that night, holla for gym time right before bed!)  In this picture she was pointing out the jack-o-lantern snacks they had set out.  They were little clementine oranges with faces drawn on.  She loved counting them, and they were a health snack when it was all over. (I may steal this idea for next year;) )

But luckily this wasn't the last Halloween fun Sarah had.  On Halloween here, it was rainy and windy.  Some communities decided to post-pone trick or treating until the next night, but where we were planning on going decided not to.  I didn't necessarily want to take Sarah full on trick-or-treating, as she is not even two, but I wanted her to have a taste of the holiday.  So I ended up taking her to a trunk or treat at our local church that they moved inside.  I just wanted her to be able to see the other kids in costume and to get to say trick-or-treat.  She was so well behaved y'all.  It still warms my heart to think of just how sweet she was.  She stayed right with me and Grandma (daddy had to work), holding one of our hands.  She had fun pointing out the decorations and putting the candy into her pumpkin (yes, she insisted on putting in herself) and she said "Thank-you" to each and every person who gave her something.

After that experience, we took Sarah back to Grandma's to trick-or-treat with Papa.  I thought this would be the one house she'd get to do traditionally, but when we got there, my mom informed me that some of the neighbors were expecting to see her, so I took her to (3) houses.  Of those (3) houses, she got (1) trick and (2) treats.  I can explain that in another post if anyone is interested.  But of the two treat houses, they were so excited to see Sarah, I'm pretty sure she was the only spook they got all night, and were just thrilled that I took the time to bring her by.  We made one last stop before bed to see Gammy (Mike's mom). And that concluded our Halloween fun!  Mike and Haley were able to carve up our pumpkins one night.  Which they had a blast doing, and I made roasted pumpkin seeds.  I took them over Grandma and Papa's on Halloween so they could be on their porch and be viewed by the neighborhood.  (Our house is just too secluded for anyone to ever see them and they deserved to be on display)

So that was it for our family.  Did y'all do anything fun for October!?  Oh and hooray for piggy tails!  Sarah's hair is finally long enough to do some cute hairdo's, which just happened in October :D

Oh! Here's a little bonus video just for my blog readers:

Sarah at 18 Months...

So it's that time when I need to do another update on Sarah.  I say need because time is racing all around me.  Seriously,  time where to have to go that you're speeding up!?  Just slow down for a minute, because I'm not getting a chance to drink in all the lovely cuteness that is my 18 month old!

(I always like to write these as though I'm talking to Sarah when she is older)
(Also, anything in "" are things that Sarah actually says)

So at 18 months, you are absolutely amazing.  AH-MAZ-ING!  There are times when I find myself looking at this beautiful little girl and thinking, how did you get so big?  Where did all that hair come from? And how do you know what sound the letter "k" makes?  (And also maybe, where did you learn how to throw a tantrum?  Is there some super secret toddler club that teaches the art of a good tantrum?) I am absolutely blown away at the rate you are learning and how tall you are growing.  You can already reach every door knob and can twist the locks that are in the middle, luckily you haven't figured out how to open the door itself, but you are so close (and yes, you can open doors that have a handle instead of a knob).  You can reach inside of our cabinet drawers and we are having to move things higher up because you have a long reach, so center table is almost not a safe area.


You are getting really good at articulating exactly what you want.  If by some chance I can't understand what you are saying or wanting, you will figure out a way to let me know.  For example, one night you wanted a bath, and I hadn't offered you one yet (in my defense it was a little early).  So you asked for my "cell phone", then asked for "pictures", then you scrolled through my pictures (yes, you know how to use the tough screen to scroll) till you found one of you in the bath, stopped, showed it to me, said "bath! bath!", then did the bath baby sign before running to the bathroom door.  Then when we went into the bathroom, you stopped at the cabinet where your bath toys are kept, pointed and said "toys" "splish splash" "water".  You have also started requesting certain activities or snacks.  If I ask you if you want a snack, you'll say "snack", and run or hop to either the pantry or refrigerator and say something like "snack, yogurt" "snack, raisins" "snack, sta-berry".  Or you'll say "sing song, mingo" "sing song, abc" (btw, mingo=bingo).  You also like to repeat key words until someone acknowledges what you are saying, "abc, abc, abc, abc, abc, abc, abc" Me: abc. "sing song, sing song, sing song, abc"  I love it!  I LOVE how you are communicating with us right now.

Just as a reference point, the doctors said most 18 month old's should be able to say 5-10 words.  Ha!  You blew 5-10 words out a long time ago!  You know the name of almost everything in your environment.  You can say anything!  You can count all the way to 20, you can count backwards from 10.  You not only know the alphabet, but you can recognize each letter (upper and lower) and have started learning the sounds of letters.  Right now, I know you know the sounds of T,K,M, & D.  But you could know more.  Like I said earlier, you amaze me with your ever changing knowledge!  You also know all the basic shapes and colors and can recognize them in your environment.  I often hear you practicing different things before you go to bed.  I'll hear you whisper counting or softly say K kah kah (<--- Supposed to be "k" sound).  So you not only love learning, but you love practicing the new things.

Speaking of going to bed... It breaks my mom heart, but you have started to put yourself to sleep.  Now, I have to ask you if you want to cuddle or lay down in your bed.  Usually you choose to "lay down bed".  In fact, after I put your pj's on, you'll toss you lovies over the side of your crib and try to climb in.  I know this is so important for your development and that it's good for you to gain independence, but I miss our night time snuggles.  You are just proving to us over and over that you aren't a little baby anymore.  But even though you want to put yourself to bed, you still want me in the room until you fall asleep.  Right now, we play a little game similar to Marco Polo.  You'll pop your head up and say "lay down" and I have to say "lay down" in response.  I've tried not saying anything, but you'll repeat it getting stressed if I don't, so I know that you just need to know I'm still close by.  It's a security thing, and I'm happy to let you know that I am there with you.  But as you are getting better at going to sleep, the number of times we do this goes down...


You're still a good eater, but are eating less these days.  You make really healthy choices when I give you an option.  Raisins are probably your favorite sweet snack, and broccoli and peas are your favorite vegetable.  You still won't drink juice, but you love loVE LOVE Chocolate Milk.  It is your absolute favorite thing to drink.  You only get it once a day, but man oh man do you go crazy over it.  Usually following "ch-milk" you want some gold fish or Annie Bunnies crackers.  It's so much fun to see what things you like and don't like.  You are still not big into meat, about the only meat you'll eat consistently is ham and scrambled eggs.  But you love fresh fruit and steamed veggies.  You also love dairy: yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese. 

Let me see what else... Hmm.. Your gross motor skill are way ahead of the game too.  Your daddy used to call me a kangaroo when I was pregnant with you, and I think he was on to something, because you hop like a kangaroo, like you can hop all the way down a hallway in great big leaps, you can jump up and down all waking hours of the day (and do).  You love to run and climb.  You understand a lot of action words, you know how to "sit down" and "stand up".  You know how to "stop", "run, run, run", "jump, jump, jump", "slow down", "lay down", "kick" and "step up/step down".  But by far your favorite is jumping.  We hear comments all the time about how much you jump and how amazing it is that you can first of jump with two feet, but also that you can move while jumping and that you don't stop jumping, like ever.  Girl you were born with springs on feet.  Are you a future Olympian?  Who knows!   But I know you have a passion for it already.  Because when I say you don't stop jumping.  You.Don't.Stop.Jumping.Ever.Not.Even.When.Watching.TV.
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Okay, so I kinda got derailed when I was writing this post and now it seems so much has changed that I can't quite remember when she started doing the new stuff, so I'm going to go ahead and post this as her update, incomplete and all, and that way I can move forward with where she is now.  Thanks for stopping by!!

On Today's Episode of Mommy Guilt...

I abandoned my kid last night.

I just can't do it.  I can't sleep with a kid beside me in bed.  I tried, really I did.  But I need space and range of motion when I'm sleeping, and having a little tiny body tucked up under me or across my chest is not a situation that I'm comfortable falling asleep in.  Sure we can nap together on the couch.  Sure, I'll snuggle with her in the bed.  But when it's time to do some real overnight heavy sleeping, nope.  I just can't do it. 

Sarah was having a rough night last night.  She went to bed fine, but around 10:30 she started moving around and couldn't settle down.  I went into her room to soothe her and let her know I'm here and everything is okay, which usually does the trick.  But not last night.  The second I'd take my hand off of her she'd sit up and cry for me, so I tried to stand there with my hand on her back or head while she drifted off, but my back started hurting.  I had a really bad pinched nerve a couple of weeks ago, and had to go the chiropractor and get adjusted several times.  It's nearly completely healed, but hunching over the side of a crib to keep my hand on her was making it twinge again.  So after 30 minutes I scooped her up and said she could lay in bed with me.

So away we went to my bed.  At first I thought she was just having bad dreams, because she didn't seem fully awake and would murmer things like "all done, all done" "no,no,no"  "bear, bear" "all done".  Mike wasn't home from work yet, so it was just the two of us, but it doesn't matter how many were in the bed because whenever Sarah is in the bed with me, she wants to be right up against me or on top of me.  It reminds me a bit of how bunnies sleep if you've ever seen a group of them sleeping together, arms legs bodies everywhere.  Which was fine so long as I wasn't trying to sleep.  I have since come to the conclusion that it was either her two year old molars or her first ear infection, but either way it became clear that it hurt her to lay on one side of her head.  So we laid there together, she tried desperately to fall asleep and to somehow become one with me, but she wasn't having any luck.  She even tucked her head up under my chin the way she used to when she was a baby.  Part of me was really loving all the snuggles, and another part of me was thinking, how in the world am I going to get any sleep?  I can't fall asleep like this... what if I squish her, how can't I keep up with all those arms and legs and make sure they don't get caught under my arm or leg (I mean, come on, the arm of an asleep person weighs a ton)... I'm just too aware of her to allow myself to fall asleep.

Eventually Mike got home from work.  He was surprised to see her in the bed with me, because I am not one to let Sarah sleep with me.  She sat up when he got there and heard us whispering and said "ouch, ouch".  So I offered to get her some medicine, which she seemed really excited for.  So as I was getting up to get it, she panicked again and clung to me "momma momma momma", (like crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms around me) so I asked if she wanted to come with me, which she did.  So the three of us went to get her some medicine.  After that, she started feeling better.  We took her back to our bed, put her in the middle and I sang some lullaby's to help her fall asleep.  Once I could tell she was out, I snuck out of bed and slept on the couch.

Enter mommy guilt. 

I know she needed me last night.  I know she just wanted to be close to me and to know I am there, but I can't sleep with a kid next to me.  As much as I might wish I could, I just can't.  Mike slept in the bed with her, so it wasn't like I left her alone or anything, but it was clear that she wanted me, and I left her.  When I went to get ready for work this morning, she was curled up right where I normally sleep, not all tucked up next daddy, which makes me think she was still looking for me.  Maybe I'm over thinking this, but I felt like a bad mommy for not sticking it out all night with her.  Yes she was asleep, but I still worry that she felt abandoned.  Does this ever happen to you?  I know in the grand scheme of things it's a little blip that she probably won't remember, but I don't ever want her to think that I'm not there when she needs me... Hmm... I don't know but I'm feeling the mommy guilt this morning...