I Say We Just Name The Baby "Baby"

Recently, I've been feeling pretty intense pressure to start defining a list of names for the unborn bundle of joy we presently refer to as "baby Gill". Mostly because a thousand people have been coming up to us and asking, "What are you gonna name the baby??"

When I announce that I don't know and I don't yet have a list of possibles, they give me this befuddled look and accompany it with this tilt of their head that is similar to what a dog does when you make a noise it does not understand. "Well, shouldn't you be thinking of names?? It's only a couple of months away now."  Yes, I should be. But since this isn't a movie script and I don't need a working title until it's finished, I have ruled out spending hours laboring over baby names only to come up with one 5 months before she's born and subsequently having second thoughts and changing it a thousand times up until she's born.

I like to imagine that Jenni and the baby are growing a maternal bond right now and that, through this magical bond, one name will speak louder than the rest and at least give us a direction to go in. Plus I suck at picking baby names and I really just want her to do it. Don't tell her I said that. Shhh...

Right now, she's leaning towards Sadie. That's fine by me, but I have a feeling that's not going to be the final product. Why? Because it's freaking December and the baby isn't due until February 20th. Factor in that the decision will be made by a woman who is in the third trimester (and likely to become increasingly more fragile and hormonal with every passing day) and a man who would exceed his creative limitations by naming a dalmatian "Spot", and pretty much anything is fair game at this stage.

We are a somewhat indecisive team, Jenni and I. Picking out restaurants can be emotionally exhausting at times, for both of us. But I think that will make this both fun and interesting down the stretch.

The only part of this equation that sucks is that all these people are getting antsy and trying to squeeze a name out of me. I am not a mobster kingpin and this is not an interrogation room, people... I don't know who he works for or where the loot is hidden. If you try and beat it out of me, you're just gonna wind up with a mess and no answer.

This unrelenting questioning is starting from my own family first. I do understand why, though. Mom wants to get started on knitting things for the new grandbaby, and my siblings want their opportunity to Christmas shop with a name in mind. My friends and co-workers are probably just asking to make small talk when they see me, but I'm pretty certain they could care less. Still, it contributes to the volume of the same question-and-answer process.

So let this be a warning to you over-zealous little badgers... keep it up at this rate, and I'm gonna name the newborn "Baby".

What??

Yes, I said it. And if you know me, and if you know Jenni, you know that I could pull this off.

If it's one other thing we share, it's a wild sense of humor. I often thing that's the only thing we have in common and part of the only reason she's kept me around all these years. Which is fine by me. After all, if she was only just about my looks, she may have left me a while back when my hair started running away and my belt line start approaching a 36. I suppose as long as I don't become a manic depressive, I'll always have a fighting chance. :-)

Anyways...

I could totally convince her to name it Baby. And the whole world would be quite irritated. And I would smile.

I'd probably have to provide an "out clause", like promise that we would change it after a couple of months or something like that. But could you imagine what those couple months would be like? Totally amazing. At least from our perspective. 

I could watch all the strangers on the street or in the mall who come up and ask,"What's her name?" become totally horrified when I tell them "Just baby," and then pull out the matching birth certificate to prove it. Someone call MTV, this could be a reality show hit!

Plus, we could watch her features develop and then appropriate a name based on what she would look like. I think everyone, in their mind, has a certain look for names like Nancy, Ann, Heather, Brittney, etc. So maybe that could be a nice plus.

None of this is in line to happen as of yet... but keep it up with the full court press, and all this could be a possibility. So just hold your water, everybody. We're working on the problem and we'll get back to you soon.

Don't be that person who causes our child to have an ambiguous first name. :-D