Well, I'm still pregnant. Just thought I'd put that out there in case any of you were actually wondering how things are going. We've had two appointments since my last post. Everything is looking good and cooking right along. We've had ultrasounds at every single one of our appointments. I would show you the pictures from those sessions, but they are really not that great since we weren't supposed to be looking at the baby. But our ultrasound tech, Leena, always let us take a peek since we were already in there and paying for it. On second thought, there is one that I may put up, but I'll save it for Halloween as it's a little freaky.
This Thursday is our 20 week ultrasound. We are nearly half way through ~ yikes! I guess I better knuckle down and start attacking that closet I've been meaning to clear out, and maybe start thinking about what we will need in order to take care of little one once it gets here. On an up note, we will have the gender of the baby in hand at the end of this session, on a down note, our reveal party isn't scheduled until Oct 16th, so we won't actually know until then. We could've found out 3 weeks ago, but I said we'd wait, much to Mike's dissatisfaction (I would've let us know, except as previously admitted to by Mike, he can't keep a secret to save his life, and it's not fair for me to know and not him).
Anyways, my thoughts on pregnancy so far: Well I wish I had some big exciting or horror story to share with you, as nearly every woman I've come in contact with has shared one with me, but I don't. It's been really easy for me so far. Knock on wood! I haven't had crazy cravings or morning sickness. I haven't turned into some ferocious monster who will bite your head off for looking at me the wrong way or started crying for no apparent reason. All things I fully expected to happen to me as those who know me know I can be a bit extreme at times. Actually, I think it's mellowed me out a bit. I'm gonna miss this feeling of level headedness ~ haha! A few gripes here and there, but even those have been more than tolerable. Such as, I can't wait to have ankles again as mine seem to stay in a perpetual state of swollen. Having my organs rearranged was a bit uncomfortable, but those seem to be pretty minor compared to what some women have gone through. Maybe I'm like my mom who was built to have babies :-D.
Most exciting thing recently, is that I believe I have started to feel the baby kick! I wasn't sure at first what I feeling as it usually happened when I was really hungry. But I've been feeling it more frequently, so I'm thinking it's little one. For all you men out there and women who haven't been pregnant before it feels like someone is tapping you from the inside. Or like a band of Mexican jumping beans is putting on a concert and there is moshing involved. Rock on little one! Actually, I usually take this as my baby screaming "Pay Attention To Me!" Which I try to do, really I do, but it's weird talking to your stomach. Especially since I still look like I've had one too many doughnuts instead of pregnant. What if someone sees me!? "Hi, baby... I felt that... how you doin... did you like that applesauce?... I love you..." It's just awkward. And reading aloud is questionable as I feel like I am boring the poor little thing, "Did you know you're about 6" long? and developing rapidly now? You might be able to hear my voice..." So yeah, I'll need to practice this bonding thing a bit more.
But seriously, it is completely wonderful to feel those kicks and jabs! Such a wonderful reminder of the work God is doing within me to knit a new life together with a unique personality, talents, and gifts. I feel a bit in awe that I would be chosen to carry such a wonderful gift. Only God knows the paths of this little one, but to be a part of it from the start is such an honor. I only hope we can be good parents and teachers and raise this baby to see all the wonder and beauty of this world.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
A Fun Frolic Into The Future
Jen and I had a conversation the other day over pancakes. We were innocently theorizing about how our unborn child would compose its personality from our own unique characteristics and what kind of combination we should expect in approximately five months. It was a mind-expanding conversation to say the least.
First, to understand the imaginary results of our findings, you must first understand who we are. And not just the two sparkling winners that all you peeps out there in blog-reader land probably know and love, but the sarcastic, flawed and wildly imperfect jesters that we tend to be when no one is looking.
So, in the interest of chivalry, we'll go ladies' first. :-)
Jen is a warm, charming and bright woman. She has a heart of pure gold and enjoys people who are considerate and polite, because she is never anything less than that to them. There is a slight bit of OCD hidden beneath the surface which adds to the "cute" factor but doesn't come off as crazy. Jen is the curious cat that sees the small bit of thread hanging off the sweater and has to fix it. She loves board games and any type of activity that involves a group and allows for one to think outside the box. She puts a high value on ceremony and tradition, and always keeps her promises. She is a really terrible speller but has an affinity for hand-written notes. All these, in addition to those big, beautiful eyes and bright smile, are what made me fall head-over-heels in love with her four years ago today.
Our child is destined to inherit a few of these perks and qwirks, which is awesome. But when I think of what my side brings to the table, I start to worry just a touch.
My full name is Michael Shane Gill. According to most of the blood relatives who came before me, I'm mostly Irish-Italian with some other random notes tossed in for good measure. Some positives about me include a musical background, a willingness to see things through and a penchant for being very personable and unafraid to engage strangers in a conversation. I'm pretty good with numbers and patterns, and I can't stand when someone uses really awful grammar (either verbally or in text). On the other hand, I tend to not be on time. Ever. I can't seem to wake up at the correct hour and I procrastinate horribly. I tend to put off shaving every Sunday which drives Jenni nuts. I go through streaks where I swear way too much and I truly suck at keeping secrets.
Now Jenni has learned over the last 1,460 days how to work around my lesser qualities and ways to either refine my bad habits or outright ignore them. And she's really, really good at it. However, once we mix all these into a new bundle of joy, I'm somewhat petrified at the possibilities. Imagine with me, if you will.
1) A bright, charming child who sleeps all day and swears uncontrollably. Ugh... no good.
2) A child with extreme attention to detail who can't keep a secret. I'll have to watch every word I say for the rest of my life! Hahaha... could turn out to be an awesome reporter in the long run though.
3) A musician with a heart of gold and perfect grammar. That actually sounds pretty good, seeing as how that hasn't really been done yet. :-)
There were several more possibilities we discussed at length that got crazier and more outrageous. Stuff like that makes us chuckle more than cringe, since we are going to love this child no matter what and we both share some pretty extreme senses of humor.
More in a bit.... stay tuned!
First, to understand the imaginary results of our findings, you must first understand who we are. And not just the two sparkling winners that all you peeps out there in blog-reader land probably know and love, but the sarcastic, flawed and wildly imperfect jesters that we tend to be when no one is looking.
So, in the interest of chivalry, we'll go ladies' first. :-)
Jen is a warm, charming and bright woman. She has a heart of pure gold and enjoys people who are considerate and polite, because she is never anything less than that to them. There is a slight bit of OCD hidden beneath the surface which adds to the "cute" factor but doesn't come off as crazy. Jen is the curious cat that sees the small bit of thread hanging off the sweater and has to fix it. She loves board games and any type of activity that involves a group and allows for one to think outside the box. She puts a high value on ceremony and tradition, and always keeps her promises. She is a really terrible speller but has an affinity for hand-written notes. All these, in addition to those big, beautiful eyes and bright smile, are what made me fall head-over-heels in love with her four years ago today.
Our child is destined to inherit a few of these perks and qwirks, which is awesome. But when I think of what my side brings to the table, I start to worry just a touch.
My full name is Michael Shane Gill. According to most of the blood relatives who came before me, I'm mostly Irish-Italian with some other random notes tossed in for good measure. Some positives about me include a musical background, a willingness to see things through and a penchant for being very personable and unafraid to engage strangers in a conversation. I'm pretty good with numbers and patterns, and I can't stand when someone uses really awful grammar (either verbally or in text). On the other hand, I tend to not be on time. Ever. I can't seem to wake up at the correct hour and I procrastinate horribly. I tend to put off shaving every Sunday which drives Jenni nuts. I go through streaks where I swear way too much and I truly suck at keeping secrets.
Now Jenni has learned over the last 1,460 days how to work around my lesser qualities and ways to either refine my bad habits or outright ignore them. And she's really, really good at it. However, once we mix all these into a new bundle of joy, I'm somewhat petrified at the possibilities. Imagine with me, if you will.
1) A bright, charming child who sleeps all day and swears uncontrollably. Ugh... no good.
2) A child with extreme attention to detail who can't keep a secret. I'll have to watch every word I say for the rest of my life! Hahaha... could turn out to be an awesome reporter in the long run though.
3) A musician with a heart of gold and perfect grammar. That actually sounds pretty good, seeing as how that hasn't really been done yet. :-)
There were several more possibilities we discussed at length that got crazier and more outrageous. Stuff like that makes us chuckle more than cringe, since we are going to love this child no matter what and we both share some pretty extreme senses of humor.
More in a bit.... stay tuned!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
SweetTart Jelly Bean Invasion
My boss loves a good practical joke. I was recently the target of one of his pranks. Here's how it went down:
The Set Up: A coworker called me over to her desk to ask for help on an Excel spreadsheet. Leaving my cubicle open for a pending attack.
The Prank: 12 bags of SweetTart Jelly Beans invaded my space while I was gone. They found their way into drawers, shelves, on my desk, under my desk, behind my computer, under my phone etc... It was a well thought out and planned attack. The Jelly Beans had organized.
The Prankster: My boss, John
The Back Story: When a new employee starts at our company it is a tradition they have an interview with HR. HR then sends around a flyer of unique facts about them as an introduction. On my flyer it listed SweetTart Jelly Beans as my favorite candy. If you've never had these treats, you are missing out! They are only available at Easter and are never one of the candies that go on clearance because they've always sold out long before. Anyway, when my boss found out I was pregnant he began searching for these treats for me. Not an easy task as they are certainly not in season in August. After a lot of searching on the internet, he was able to find a vendor online that had them in stock and available to ship. He ordered me a 7 month supply which I turned out to be a dozen bags. If you never seen 12 bags of jelly beans, that's a lot of candy!!! When I asked him how and why he did this, he said I should have my favorite candy during my pregnancy in case I got a craving, so he wanted to make sure I had these on hand, just in case.
I work at an amazing company full of wonderful people and am truly blessed to be working in this environment. The fact that I have a boss who would go so far above and beyond is amazing. I hope that everyone gets to work at a company like this at some point in their lives!
But in case you become the target of a future attack or you find yourself amongst the Jelly Beans:
You've been warned! It's too late for me, but you can still save yourself...
The Set Up: A coworker called me over to her desk to ask for help on an Excel spreadsheet. Leaving my cubicle open for a pending attack.
The Prank: 12 bags of SweetTart Jelly Beans invaded my space while I was gone. They found their way into drawers, shelves, on my desk, under my desk, behind my computer, under my phone etc... It was a well thought out and planned attack. The Jelly Beans had organized.
The Prankster: My boss, John
The Back Story: When a new employee starts at our company it is a tradition they have an interview with HR. HR then sends around a flyer of unique facts about them as an introduction. On my flyer it listed SweetTart Jelly Beans as my favorite candy. If you've never had these treats, you are missing out! They are only available at Easter and are never one of the candies that go on clearance because they've always sold out long before. Anyway, when my boss found out I was pregnant he began searching for these treats for me. Not an easy task as they are certainly not in season in August. After a lot of searching on the internet, he was able to find a vendor online that had them in stock and available to ship. He ordered me a 7 month supply which I turned out to be a dozen bags. If you never seen 12 bags of jelly beans, that's a lot of candy!!! When I asked him how and why he did this, he said I should have my favorite candy during my pregnancy in case I got a craving, so he wanted to make sure I had these on hand, just in case.
I work at an amazing company full of wonderful people and am truly blessed to be working in this environment. The fact that I have a boss who would go so far above and beyond is amazing. I hope that everyone gets to work at a company like this at some point in their lives!
But in case you become the target of a future attack or you find yourself amongst the Jelly Beans:
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Rebuke
There is a word floating around our office right now that has become the butt of many jokes. Rebuke. We don’t often hear this word in everyday speech anymore, however, this past weekend I was rebuked by several people who I love very dearly and feel I need to address this issue before moving forward. While I have responded to these people individually, I thought I should write this as a way to give some insight into our lives and maybe some understanding.
First off, I would hope that if you are reading my blog you know me well enough to know that I would never force myself or my decisions on anyone. It is not in my immediate nature to do so. I am well aware that my pregnancy is uncomfortable and not easily explained to children who are being raised, as I was, to think that you need to be married to have a baby. For those that have expressed this exact sentiment I appreciate your honesty and respect your point of view. I will do what is in my power to uphold those values if or when I am around you or your children. In others words, I will not flaunt my situation or try to change your way of thinking. I will not, however, miss important events in my loved ones lives if I am invited or asked to be there. I am not self-important enough to think the world revolves around me. I would never want or try to take the focus off of whomever or whatever event I am attending. It is their day and their day alone.
Mike and I’s situation is unique in and of itself. We have been together for 4 years and I am an active role model and adult in his 11 year old daughter’s life. We struggle along with her mother and step father to raise a child in today’s scary world. It is a very different world than the one you or I grew up in. They are bombarded with subject matter above their maturity nearly everywhere they go. Every new piece of technology poses a new threat to our sweet children. The internet can be accessed through not only computers, but their DS, PSP, Wii, Xbox, Cell phones, etc. A smart kid can figure out how to hide a multitude of information if they want to. I have always believed in protecting a child’s innocence and I am more than ever committed to that end.
We have chosen to not get married at this time for our own reasons. We will probably end up married at some point, but it will not be before the baby comes. To give Mike his credit, he has offered to marry me several times. This weekend was also rough on him as he would do whatever he could to protect me from the scrutiny I have come under. I stand by my previous decision to wait until we can have the wedding that we want. That is probably pretty selfish of me, but if Mike is willing to wait, so can the rest of y’all. We will raise this baby together and are committed to one another, that is all most of you need to know.
I have always viewed babies as a blessing. As such, I see my baby as a blessing. Did I deserve it? No. But it was bestowed and entrusted to me to raise. I will not be ashamed of any blessing I have received. Because I have been given a blessing, I will strive to be a blessing to others and teach my child that as well.
Finally, I need to apologize to everyone whom I have hurt by the way I handled this pregnancy. This is completely new territory for me and I felt that if I did a big reveal or anything cutesy it would be perceived as I am not taking it seriously, or that I am flaunting an un-Christlike way of living. I was unable to form the words “I am pregnant” for the longest time. Even when telling my family, I used other language. It is not an easy thing to share something so personal and controversial. There is one person in particular who I have hurt. I really did want to tell this person myself in person and did not make it to her house in time. I don’t know how to make it up to her. I completely understand her feelings and would feel the exact same way. I can only hang my head in shame and beg for forgiveness. I am truly truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me. You are a valuable person in my life.
For myself, I was reminded at church this weekend that no one can separate us from the love of God. Grace is free. It can not be bought, sold or earned. It is there for our taking. I still believe I am a child of God and that He holds me in the palm of His hand. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God. Luckily, I know the story doesn’t end there and we’ve all been redeemed through Jesus. I will continue on my Christian walk through Faith.
Bottom line, if you’ve actually read this far, is: I CHOOSE LOVE. I do not love anybody any less than I did before this weekend. I respect our individual right to an opinion and way of life. I will continue to think of you all in a loving way and will pray for blessings on you and your families. Please know that voicing honest emotions and feelings will never be punishable in my book. I love you.
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