Monday, July 23, 2012

Sometimes I Get a Little Misty Eyed

The first year of a babies life is so exciting and so heart wrenching.  On one hand all of these really exciting "firsts" happen.  From sight changes, to rolling over, to sitting up, to cooing, to babbling, to discovering hands, toes, textures.... you get it.  You see the world around you so differently through a baby's discovery of the most mundane items.  A plain solo cup is fasinating.  The pure joy of rolling over is infectious.  The long forgotten delights of jumping for no reason are remembered.  But with all of these things come little heartaches.

Everytime I have to pack up things Sarah has outgrown or out developed I get a little misty eyed.  Don't get me wrong, I love seeing her discover new things and grow.  And shopping for new pint sized clothing is always fun. But packing away those too short sleepers and too little onsies is really sad for me.

Now that Sarah is approaching the big 6 month mark, it seems like there is even more things she is outgrowing.  She's officially outgrown her playmat with the the dangly toys.  She can still use the kick board piano, but it's rotated for a sitting baby.  She's outgrown her swing.  It's still up because I can't bring myself to face the fact that it's days are over with Sarah.  And her new favorite game during diaper changes is to catch the animals on her mobile, which means it's time to take it down too.  So so sad.

It's like all these things I thought were way off in the distance are now, in fact, happening. All these things she used since she came home from the hospital are going away.  Her newborn pacifiers are being swapped for the next phase. We bought her new car seat today because her days in the newborn carseat/carrier are numbered.  I have to change nipple speeds and introduce cup drinking.  She's so ready for all these things, but I'm not.  I love watching her grow, I love that she's so interested in learning and watching and trying new things.  But part of me wants my tiny little newborn back.  I miss the days when she was small enough to fit in my arms without her feet hanging out the back.  I miss being able to just hold her without having to entertain her. I miss her tiny chicken legs.  (Believe it or not, but she had the scawniest little legs when she was born!) I miss those newborn sounds that were so faint and sweet.

On second thought... I do miss my cute little newborn, but I wouldn't give up her big smile the second she sees me. I wouldn't give up her belly laughs at watching me do some silly dance. I wouldn't give up that look of pure happiness when she gets to eat big baby food.  Or her story telling/talking that I know will be facinating when she figures those tricky words out.  Or when she tries to say momma when she's crying (that sounds more like mimi)... And now I'm a little misty eyed at how far she's come and how much she's learned.  I'm such a girl!  Oh well... I guess this is why they say cherish each and every moment.  Because you won't get them back. She's only little once.  And I fully intend to continue to enjoy it.  And let's face it, she still little... she's just not as little.  So for now, I'll keep packing away those things she no longer needs and look forward to what tomorrow brings.  But I am going to go sneak a kiss on my little girls head who is fast asleep in her big baby crib.  Goodnight!


Man, what a jumble of emotions and thoughts tonight... you're welcome for that ;)! Haha!

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