That's it, You're Going to Time Out

So, you know how they have that old saying "monkey see, monkey do".  And you know how they say this a lot when you have children, as they are great little mimikers...

We've reached that stage, you know the one.  The one where your nothing but sweet little child has decided that they need (or maybe "need" is too strong of a word, "want" might be more appropriate...) to find out exactly where the boundaries lie.  Just how far they can push until something, anything changes, and how bad will it actually be?  I know that this is in their tiny little heads, because I remember thinking the exact same thing.

So up until recently just the threat of some form of discipline was enough to stop our 2.5 year old right in her tracks.  And she is clever enough to have figured out that a pouty lip and an "I'm sorry, mommy" was enough to get her out of trouble. Until that routine was just too boring for her, or until it dawned on her that she didn't actually know what she was sorry for.  (example: I'm sorry mommy, as she is coloring directly on the table)  Either way, the time out chair has been brought out and she has become acquainted with it.

The Chair

I knew this day was coming.  I had bought a little chair at Goodwill with every intention of it being a time out chair.  I kept it out in the garage until the day we would need it (Or maybe I planned to paint it all pinterest like, and never got around to it.., potato, tomato).  I thought very carefully about how I wanted to handle discipline, so I came up with all these guidelines for myself, always with this perfect senario playing out in my head that involved a screaming defiant child, and a patient loving but firm parent.... where has my mom of the year award gotten off to?  But as children do, mine threw me for a loop.  Our first encounter with the chair went something like this...

Me:  Sarah, stop doing that or I'm going to put you in time out
Sarah:  looking at me I'm sorry momma pouty lip, continues doing thing
Me:  Sarah, I said stop, do you want to go in time out?
Sarah:  Yes!
Me:  Okay.... let me go get the chair brings in chair
Sarah:  Oooo!  I love my time out chair momma, it's just my size.
Me:  Hang on, let me clean it first.  Okay, sit in the chair and  be quiet for 2.5 minutes
Sarah: Still talking about how much she loves the chair.
Me:  You have to be quiet or I'll start the time over.
Sarah: Starts whispering about the lovely chair and how it's just her size, she loves the little cut out heart.
Me:  That's it.  I'm starting the time all over again, this time no talking.
Sarah:  Staring to realize it's meant to be punishment.  Shifts into pitful woe is me, child.  Reaches hand symbolically out to me.  Mommy hold my hand, I'm scared.
Me:  Trying to remain patient firm parent and not laugh at the rapid change of tatics. No, you're in time out.  
Sarah:  lip out, hand outstreched, knows she almost has mommy smiling, and if she can just get a smile out of me, knows it's not really a punishment
Me:  Just don't look at her, it's almost over.  This sets the precedent for all future time out sessions.
TIME OUT ENDS
Me:  Walks back to Sarah kneels down in front of Sarah, Sarah, Do you know why you're in time out?
Sarah:  I love my time out chair mommy.
Me:  Yes I know, but do you know why I made you sit in it and be quiet?
Sarah: Yes, I was doing that thing you told me not to.
Me:  Why did I tell you not to do that?
Sarah:  Because I made a mess, and you said "Stop doing that thing" and I kept doing it.
Me:  That's right.  So next time mommy tells you to stop are going to listen?
Sarah:  Yes
Me:  Okay, not tell me you're sorry and give me a hug
End.

So that's the set-up.  Here's the almost-comical antidote.

Fast forward, a few days and time outs...

Sarah still loves the time out chair.  I often hear her saying she's going to sit in the time out chair.  Like she wants to go in time out to get to sit in the chair.  (I may need to think of a more suitable teaching method).  Anyway, I'm playing with Sarah.  We're playing with her Minnie Mouse dolls, that have clip on dresses, bows, shoes, etc.  So I'm dressing a Minnie doll to go to a tea party, and I don't pick the right bow to go with dress.  So I explain, that I can dress her how I want, and that it's okay for our friends to have different idea's, etc. etc.  You know trying to mold her into a good friend and play buddy.  Well after the umteinth time of her correcting how I'm dressing these dolls, and me explaining that it's okay for me to have different ideas and we can both still play together.  She looks at me and says:

Sarah:  That's it mommy.  You're going to time out.
Me:  What did I do wrong?  Why do I have to go to time out? Decides to play along, see where it goes.  How does she view time out?
Sarah: pulling me toward the chair, or attempting as she does not have the kind of strength needed to actually physically move me. You need to go to time out.  You need to sit in the chair.
Me: playing along, sits on chair  Why am I in time out?
Sarah: Shhh. Mommy no talking, or hand holding while in time out. Sits down with pretend phone where I always sit when she's in time out
Me:  Reaches hand symbolically out
Sarah:  No mommy.  You need to think about what you did.
Me: What'd I do?  starting to laugh
Sarah:  I'm going to start your time over.
Me:  sits patiently
Sarah: gets up comes over and kneels in front of me, rubs my leg. Do you know what you did wrong?
Me:  No, what did I do?
Sarah: Are you going to do it again?
Me: No
Sarah:  Okay give me a hug and say you're sorry.
Me: Sorry gives hug
Sarah:  That's better mommy


So your opinion... Am I in trouble here with this whole time out thing?  Monkey see, monkey do.  Is she mocking my attempts at creating a well adjusted child?  What are alternatives (I'm not a spanking kind of mom).  My kid loves time out, loves the time out chair, loves to pretend to be in time out, has acted out a scene with me in time out.  (Which, by the way, will not happen again, as I've now realized it was a big mistake to even let her act as if she has that kind of control over me.  She does not. I am mom, she is child.  End of story.)  So let's hear it, how do you mold your child into a non-brat.  Because let's be honest, that's what all of our end goals really are right!?  To raise non-brats?