Wow!! So how ashamed am I that I haven't taken the time to write the second part of our birth story... So sorry blog readers! So at last check we were in labor waiting to be fully dilated and effaced. Well it was more of the same until about 5:30 PM when I was finally cleared to start pushing. Random, but true, the epidural is an interesting beast. I had feeling in my legs and was able to maneuvering myself fairly efficiently into different positions while not being able to feel contractions. This gave a false sense of energy. I had no idea just how tired I was after 13 hours of labour.
So pushing was exhausting! After the first two contractions I pushed on, I asked for the epidural to be turned way down so I could feel how effective I was being and adjust accordingly. That helped but also brought on some very violent dry heaving. Worst part of the pushing experience for me. In between contractions, I spent my time desperately trying to do anything that would stop the need to throw up. (Again, TMI, but I am being honest here). After an hour of pushing, the nurse and doctor determined that she was presenting head up and could not navigate my pelvis. She was stuck trying to navigate my pelvis (she made it in, and couldn't get out). The doctor confirmed that she was a big baby and determined that we should go ahead with a c-section, rather than trying to force something that wasn't going to happen.
A whirlwind of activity happened at that point. A team of a million people came through doing various things and introducing themselves to me (As if I would ever be able to remember any of their names). And yes that thought went through my head, with each new name and face I thought, ok, I'm not going to remember that so why bother trying. You can't blame them though, it was polite. Um, some random thoughts from that time, first I wasn't sure the epidural would be enough for surgery as I still had lots of feeling up until I was in the operating room (Can you feel this? Yes!). By the time they put enough drugs in me, it was sheer will power not to just go to sleep. The only thought keeping me semi-conscience was the thought that I was NOT going to miss her birth. I'd come so far, if I missed it at that point I would have been devastated. Also, they almost forgot to go get mike after I was set up in the room, I think I asked for him before they remembered he was outside waiting. I needed some kind of comfort.
So the sheet was up and Mike was holding my hand and they told me they were starting. 10 minutes later I heard her melodic cry and started crying myself. I kept asking Mike if he could see her and what did she look like. And he said he could see her and she was beautiful. The first look I got of her was when she was on the table being warmed and cleaned. I swear she looked right at me. Mike was able to go over and take pictures and video of her. So he has video of that part, I'll see if I can upload it here at some point.
Once she was wrapped and weighed (7lbs, 12.5 oz - 20.8 inches) Mike brought her over and they put her on my chest. She was so perfect and alert. I was able to have a hand free to touch her face. I couldn't believe this was the little baby I'd spent the past 10 months with. At this point things got a little hazy for me... I remember calling for Mike to come get the baby because I felt like I couldn't breathe. And didn't trust myself to hold her. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I went through the motions of deliberately breathing, but I still felt like I wasn't getting oxygen. I wanted to sit up and cough, but knew that was impossible, as they were still working on me. I was also congested from the crying over seeing her for the first time, so the last part of surgery were really rough for me. They finished my sutures and elevated my head a little... relief was on the way...
Back in recovery, they kept asking if I wanted to hold her, and I knew I physically couldn't manage it at that point. So after a little bit I was strong enough to hold her and I finally had her in my arms... In the pictures from this time, you can tell I'm exhausted and I think I look terrible, but they do tell the story of our night.
Um, also in recovery, the nurse had to keep pushing on my stomach/uterus to make sure it was contracting down. That was the most excruciating part! I literally felt like I was being ripped apart. I apologized to the nurse, because while I knew it was her job, but it also made me not like her at all! Just the memory is making me cringe right now.
We were moved to a post partum room, and we made the choice to send the baby to the nursery for awhile. I made it clear that I wanted to nurse her and to not put anything in her mouth, but I needed a few hours rest. I could barely see straight. It broke my heart to send her to the nursery, but I also knew I would not be physically able to help her without sleep. Yes, I was at that point. So that concludes our birth story. I'll try to write another post about our adventures in the hospital, cause there were a few, but that is for another time. Plus sweet baby is waking up now and needs my attention! I'll leave you with a picture from the operating room and a couple from recovery:
One of Sarah's 1st Pictures
Us in recovery
Sarah and I when I could finally hold her!
So pushing was exhausting! After the first two contractions I pushed on, I asked for the epidural to be turned way down so I could feel how effective I was being and adjust accordingly. That helped but also brought on some very violent dry heaving. Worst part of the pushing experience for me. In between contractions, I spent my time desperately trying to do anything that would stop the need to throw up. (Again, TMI, but I am being honest here). After an hour of pushing, the nurse and doctor determined that she was presenting head up and could not navigate my pelvis. She was stuck trying to navigate my pelvis (she made it in, and couldn't get out). The doctor confirmed that she was a big baby and determined that we should go ahead with a c-section, rather than trying to force something that wasn't going to happen.
A whirlwind of activity happened at that point. A team of a million people came through doing various things and introducing themselves to me (As if I would ever be able to remember any of their names). And yes that thought went through my head, with each new name and face I thought, ok, I'm not going to remember that so why bother trying. You can't blame them though, it was polite. Um, some random thoughts from that time, first I wasn't sure the epidural would be enough for surgery as I still had lots of feeling up until I was in the operating room (Can you feel this? Yes!). By the time they put enough drugs in me, it was sheer will power not to just go to sleep. The only thought keeping me semi-conscience was the thought that I was NOT going to miss her birth. I'd come so far, if I missed it at that point I would have been devastated. Also, they almost forgot to go get mike after I was set up in the room, I think I asked for him before they remembered he was outside waiting. I needed some kind of comfort.
So the sheet was up and Mike was holding my hand and they told me they were starting. 10 minutes later I heard her melodic cry and started crying myself. I kept asking Mike if he could see her and what did she look like. And he said he could see her and she was beautiful. The first look I got of her was when she was on the table being warmed and cleaned. I swear she looked right at me. Mike was able to go over and take pictures and video of her. So he has video of that part, I'll see if I can upload it here at some point.
Once she was wrapped and weighed (7lbs, 12.5 oz - 20.8 inches) Mike brought her over and they put her on my chest. She was so perfect and alert. I was able to have a hand free to touch her face. I couldn't believe this was the little baby I'd spent the past 10 months with. At this point things got a little hazy for me... I remember calling for Mike to come get the baby because I felt like I couldn't breathe. And didn't trust myself to hold her. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I went through the motions of deliberately breathing, but I still felt like I wasn't getting oxygen. I wanted to sit up and cough, but knew that was impossible, as they were still working on me. I was also congested from the crying over seeing her for the first time, so the last part of surgery were really rough for me. They finished my sutures and elevated my head a little... relief was on the way...
Back in recovery, they kept asking if I wanted to hold her, and I knew I physically couldn't manage it at that point. So after a little bit I was strong enough to hold her and I finally had her in my arms... In the pictures from this time, you can tell I'm exhausted and I think I look terrible, but they do tell the story of our night.
Um, also in recovery, the nurse had to keep pushing on my stomach/uterus to make sure it was contracting down. That was the most excruciating part! I literally felt like I was being ripped apart. I apologized to the nurse, because while I knew it was her job, but it also made me not like her at all! Just the memory is making me cringe right now.
We were moved to a post partum room, and we made the choice to send the baby to the nursery for awhile. I made it clear that I wanted to nurse her and to not put anything in her mouth, but I needed a few hours rest. I could barely see straight. It broke my heart to send her to the nursery, but I also knew I would not be physically able to help her without sleep. Yes, I was at that point. So that concludes our birth story. I'll try to write another post about our adventures in the hospital, cause there were a few, but that is for another time. Plus sweet baby is waking up now and needs my attention! I'll leave you with a picture from the operating room and a couple from recovery:
One of Sarah's 1st Pictures
Us in recovery
Sarah and I when I could finally hold her!
