**If you want the short list of things I did to ease Sarah into the move skip to the bottom**
So I've been kinda MIA on the blog again. Shocker! I know! But this time it is actually for a plausible reason (excuse). I have been up to my eyeballs in moving. I HATE MOVING!!! There are very few times I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and have everything done, but moving is definitely one of them. (I'm one of those nerds who loves to do things myself and have great sense of accomplishment and pride when it's complete) But moving and probably cleaning the bathtub are the two things I would wave my wand and have instantly finished, oh and maybe painting a room, how tedious!
Anyway, the point of this post is sharing my strategy for moving with a baby. Because let's face it, I needed a strategy to deal with time management of packing and a strategy for causing the least amount of stress on Sarah. So I started weeks ago with packing. I figured if I could pack one or two boxes a night I would be in a lot better shape than trying to do it all at once. (Previously I've been the chick up till 4am packing to make sure that when the truck was picked up at 8am we'd be ready... ha! like I was ever ready....) So I started with the things in cabinets or closets we don't use on a daily basis and that Sarah wouldn't notice had changed. But there is only so much of that type of stuff to pack... So soon I had to start on the things in plain view that we don't need daily. You know, pictures on the wall, books, DVDs etc. Well Sarah started to get a little stressed when she would notice something had changed. So I had the brilliant idea of showing her what I was packing. That didn't work. It's better to pack things when they are out of sight and just acknowledge the changes when she woke up. Her watching me pack was a nightmare.
Have I mentioned Sarah is completely freaked out by the noise packing tape makes when it comes off the role? Because you want to talk about turning a sweet happy baby into a huge alligator tear crying infant, seal a box. I tried showing her the tape, letting her feel it, showing her how it comes off the role. That didn't work. The second I pulled on the tape her little bottom lip jutted out and her eyes filled up with tears and looked at me with those big sad eyes that were begging the question "Why are you doing this to me?" So I stopped sealing boxes when she was awake. I'd pack them and put them off to the side to seal later after she went to bed or napped.
I saved my bedroom for last, thinking that she needed her sleep area to remain uninterrupted. I didn't take anything off the walls until the week before the move, and would pack a closet then close the door so she couldn't see the difference. I was also very purposeful in keeping her corner of the room exactly the way it had been since setting up her crib. That way she'd be able to sleep well at nap time and night time. But things needed to get done, so eventually I packed the whole room except her corner. That area was her safe space in the moving process. I thought she needed that.
So we had to move in phases. The two major days were Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was devoted to moving my sister and Sunday was devoted to moving us. I arranged for Sarah to spend Saturday with my parents. It was just easier to have her away from the apartment so she didn't have to be involved with that craziness. So after moving all of my sisters things out Saturday, I went to pick up my girl, and let me tell you she had a ball with her grandma and papa! They had a fun day of bonding, playing, swimming, strolling etc. She was pretty much exhausted by the time I went back to apartment which was my plan so I just had to let her play a few minutes before bedtime. Again, her area of our room was untouched, so she got a good nights sleep. Sunday morning, Mike got up and took Sarah to his mom's to spend the day. I waited until they left to dismantle her area. I packed everything up in my car so that when we got to the new house I could re-create her area in a similar fashion to help with the stress.
Sarah had another great day spending time with her Gammy and big sister, but I'd be lying if I said it was stress free. We were moving until late Sunday. His mom tried really hard to put her to bed, but she just wasn't going for it. I have always put her to sleep, on the extremely rare occasion that I haven't, Mike has been there. She knew something was up and was waiting for one of us to be there. We got a call around 10:30 PM saying that she was pitiful. Not crying, but clearly exhausted, and could we maybe hurry or one of us come back. So we threw what was left in our cars, returned the truck and headed to the new house. (Have I mentioned that we're moving into a duplex that his mother lives on the other side? Cause I guess that's kinda important at this point)
By the time I got there she was laying down, with her eyes barely open, but clearly fighting sleep. I wanted to shower and put clean clothes on, but at this point it was more important to get her to bed. So I picked her up and she instantly settled on my chest and went to sleep. I took her into her room with her corner being set up very similarly and put her to bed. I made sure she had her noise machine and music. But she's just too smart. She tossed and turned that night, crying in her sleep. So we spent the night running back and forth soothing and comforting her. She just needed to know we were still there, because the second she felt my hand on her she would settle back into sleep. Oh! And when she woke up that morning I swear she had no idea who I was or Mike. She had this wild look in her eyes looking back and forth between us followed by screaming. It got better after her bottle and lots of soothing. I think this was just a product of the restless night she had.
The next day I made it very clear that she needed to take all of her naps in her bed. She needed to get used to the space and the more time she spent in there the better it would be for all of us. So Mike put her down for naps and let her play in the room. We still had some moving things to do Monday, so I picked her up after work and took her to my mom's while we got the rest of the junky things out and cleaned the apartment to turn it over. But I made sure to be back at the new house before Sarah's bedtime. I did as much of her nightly routine as was possible and took my time getting her ready for bed. When I gave her the last bottle she was tired from all of the events of the weekend and was having a hard time relaxing in the strange quietness that is a new house full of boxes. So I sang her some of the songs I've been singing to her since birth. Even threw in a few TV theme songs for good measure (I'll be there for yooouuuu.... When the rain starts to poor... I'll be there for yoooouuuu... Like I've been there before... (Name that show!)) And when I took her into her room for our walk (I don't have a rocker, so we pace around the room to sleep) I left a soft lamp on so she could see where she was. If her head popped off my chest because something caught her attention I stopped and let her look at whatever it was and explained what it was and why it was there. We did this for probably 5-10 min, then I turned off the lights and her head instantly went to her spot on my chest and she was out. She slept like a baby that night. No more tossing and turning and crying in her sleep. The night time sleep battle won. I can say that with confidence now that we've had 3 nights of normal sleep.
Now we just have to unpack all the millions of boxes. We've spent the last two evening arranging furniture and unpacking daily necessities such as dishes and glasses. Now that things are in place the unpacking moving marathon will start, along with all the million's of paint projects we have planned. Have I mentioned I HATE MOVING!!!???? Because really I do, the whole process is a pain in the butt. BUT, I am kinda excited to start living our lives as the Gill Family (Even if I'm not a Gill... yet!)
Oh and if you want a short list of things that were important to me through the move with Sarah here they are:
1. I stopped referring to any one place as home. I would say things like "Do you want to go with mommy?" instead of "Do you want to go home?" I'm giving her time to disassociate the apartment with "home".
2. I did not let Sarah see the apartment empty. After my sister's move, I shut her door so she couldn't see in that room and there was relatively little furniture from our living spaces missing. She knew our apartment parking lot and stairs and thought she didn't need to see the place empty.
3. I kept the things she is used to the same. Her sleep corner is relatively the same, her noise machine and music the same. Same kitchen sink set up with her bottles and food. Same toys to play with. etc.
4. I arranged for her to be with people she knew and trusted to keep her occupied during the move so she could have "good days"
5. I let her get to know her new room on her terms during the first real day there and night.
5. Saved packing things she saw on a daily basis until the last week. Acknowledged when something was different and moved on. 6 month olds are surprisingly distractable with a rattle or toy.
So yeah, if you've read this whole post, yay for you!! (It's super long...) And as a reward you get a bright shiny internet hug from me!
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