My baby is how big?

**Warning this post contains pictures from inside of me**


So we just got back from the baby doctor.  We were scheduled to have an ultra sound today as my fundal height has been measuring about 4cm large.  I bet you can't guess how big our sweet baby girl is...  Let me preface this by saying the average fetus at this stage is around 3.75 lbs on average.  Babies are also putting on around a half a pound a week from here on out.  I'm letting you in on this information so you can grasp the surprise we were faced with today.

I've known that large babies run in our family forever.  My mom's children ranged from 8.5-10.8.  So I wasn't too surprised when he said that she may be a bit bigger, but wanted to check her weight anyway.  Leena, our ever sweet ultrasound tech, took us back to look at the little one. She was being somewhat active this morning, so we did get to see her doing some pretty cool stuff.  For awhile she was sucking on her hand and we could see her little tongue bobbing in and out.  Then she grabbed her toes and was double kicking me with her foot and hand together.  She also turned and looked at us to say hi. All in all there were very sweet moments realizing just how developed she is now.  I'm confident that (God forbid) anything were to happen where we'd have to deliver early, she'd be just fine.  She's already filling out into a newborn.

Chewing on hand

32 weeks hand and arm

32 weeks profile

This one is harder to see, but she's grabbing her foot with her hand



So now that the fun stuff was over, it was time to take the measurements.  They measured the circumference of her head and belly and few other parts to put together their best estimate.  We asked how accurate these measurements are, and she said usually within a half pound or less.  She then pulled up this graph that shows where average babies are and where we were currently sitting.  Curious yet as to how big our child is?  Because I was....

She is weighing in at a whopping 5.5 lbs already!  On the graph she was teetering right below the upper line.  Still "average" but really close to being larger than average.  If that won't make a new mom's mind spiral into scenarios about birthing a baby, I don't know what will... I have (up till this point) conveniently avoided thinking about having to birth a baby at all.  My mental blocks fell today as the reality hit that this child has to enter the world somehow. 

I'm somewhat nervous about sharing this information with the general public, as I'm scared it will inspire even more mothers with horror birth stories to share.  If you've had a large baby and have some horrifying tidbit to share, please don't.  I don't need any help coming up with stuff; and if I haven't imagined it, I don't need to now.

I am happy that our baby girl is healthy and I love her no matter what.  That hasn't changed, nothing really has except my perception of how this could go.  Our doctor said that it's nothing to freak out over.  It just means she'll likely be over 9lbs.  It may also mean an alternate birthing plan when it comes down to it, but we'll take that one contraction at a time when the time comes.  He said we should prepare ourselves to go a little earlier also.  There are still a lot of unknowns, but it adds to the adventure of having a baby.

So there's our update from today.  We have a healthy little girl in there (that was also confirmed again today).  She's looking good and is active as ever. 

Is It Time to Panic Yet?

Join me in my slightly panic'd mind:

There is a line from the TV show Friends that keeps running through my head...

"You're going to have a baby and you need to be prepared for it."

This year the holidays have been very unusual for me.  I am normally totally into Holiday's and like to decorate and get into the spirit of things.  But this year, it's as if my brain has switched off and is refusing to acknowledge the season has already approached and is nearly over now.  I've been trying to figure out why this is, and I think I've come to a conclusion...

Once the holiday's are over, there's nothing left to focus on except the imminent arrival of baby Gill.  I'm starting to get very nervous about having a baby.  And by having a baby, I don't mean the actual birth, I mean the responsibility and life altering changes I'm about to encounter.  I don't want to say that I'm intimidated by these changes, merely that it's a realm and a world that I can't comprehend right now.  And these thoughts make me apprehensive.  Nearly every parent I've encountered and had a conversation with has told me that there is nothing like raising a child to turn your world upside down.

I feel like I've lived my life in stages.  The first stage being "growing up".  The time when I was safe within my parents bubble and it felt like no harm could ever come to me as long as I was with them.  The second stage being "independence".  This is the stage that I'm currently in.  The time when you've left your parents bubble, faced the world head on and whether you sink or swim is up to you and you alone.  I'm comfortable in this stage because every decision I've made while in this stage only affects me.  If I succeed or fail miserably at something it's only myself that will have to deal with the consequences.  Not to say that I don't have family and friends that will share in those emotions, but you know what I mean.  It's my decision for my life and I am responsible for how I choose to live it.  I can jump into anything with both feet because they're my feet, I know my limitations, and I trust myself to be able to handle the outcome.

But now comes "parenthood"...  Complete and total responsibility for another human being.  I can't look at life the same way.  I will be responsible for creating that safe bubble for my child.  I will have to make all the decisions for this helpless little being until she matures enough to handle those decisions herself.  I know I have Mike to share in this responsibility, and we have a great support system.  But really, it's up to us.  Mike, being the self assured veteran at this, told me last night that I'm over thinking things.  He was being so sweet in trying to reassure me that everything will be fine, but he said something to me that I haven't been able to get out of my mind: "Being a parent is the one time in life that your opinion is fact". <--- (Scary!)   He went on to say that there are no perfect parents.  There are no right answers, and there's never going to be a report card for how your doing.  He said he knows how I work and that I can read all the books and articles I want, but no parent was good at it to begin with, and every one of them made mistakes.   I guess that's true, but it's still intimidating.  I want to be the best mom I can be, and I don't know how to prepare because I don't know what lies in our future.  Every baby is different and the world is constantly evolving, so there is no sure fire way to be ready.

I'm hoping these sentiments are normal and every new mommy to be goes through this.  It's just really starting to get real.  Two months until our due date.  That is not a lot of time considering yesterday was Thanksgiving and Halloween was last week.  My rational mind knows we'll be fine and it will be wonderful, but my insecure emotional mind is winning the battle right now.  Maybe it's just the holidays and everyone reminding me that the next time they see me I'll have had the baby...

Me with a baby.  I've got to get used to that thought...


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In other news, we have started going to the doctor every two weeks.  During our next appointment, between Christmas and New Year's, I'll be getting another ultrasound to check the baby's size and position as I'm still measuring large.  Large babies run in my family, so I'm not too concerned about it, but keep us in your thoughts and prayers anyway.  Also, last week was the first time Mike and my sister could see the baby move just by looking at my stomach and that Bethany got to feel her.  (She's really shy when it comes to other people feeling her....)

Thanks for checking in with us ~ I'll try to be better at posting regularly :)

I Say We Just Name The Baby "Baby"

Recently, I've been feeling pretty intense pressure to start defining a list of names for the unborn bundle of joy we presently refer to as "baby Gill". Mostly because a thousand people have been coming up to us and asking, "What are you gonna name the baby??"

When I announce that I don't know and I don't yet have a list of possibles, they give me this befuddled look and accompany it with this tilt of their head that is similar to what a dog does when you make a noise it does not understand. "Well, shouldn't you be thinking of names?? It's only a couple of months away now."  Yes, I should be. But since this isn't a movie script and I don't need a working title until it's finished, I have ruled out spending hours laboring over baby names only to come up with one 5 months before she's born and subsequently having second thoughts and changing it a thousand times up until she's born.

I like to imagine that Jenni and the baby are growing a maternal bond right now and that, through this magical bond, one name will speak louder than the rest and at least give us a direction to go in. Plus I suck at picking baby names and I really just want her to do it. Don't tell her I said that. Shhh...

Right now, she's leaning towards Sadie. That's fine by me, but I have a feeling that's not going to be the final product. Why? Because it's freaking December and the baby isn't due until February 20th. Factor in that the decision will be made by a woman who is in the third trimester (and likely to become increasingly more fragile and hormonal with every passing day) and a man who would exceed his creative limitations by naming a dalmatian "Spot", and pretty much anything is fair game at this stage.

We are a somewhat indecisive team, Jenni and I. Picking out restaurants can be emotionally exhausting at times, for both of us. But I think that will make this both fun and interesting down the stretch.

The only part of this equation that sucks is that all these people are getting antsy and trying to squeeze a name out of me. I am not a mobster kingpin and this is not an interrogation room, people... I don't know who he works for or where the loot is hidden. If you try and beat it out of me, you're just gonna wind up with a mess and no answer.

This unrelenting questioning is starting from my own family first. I do understand why, though. Mom wants to get started on knitting things for the new grandbaby, and my siblings want their opportunity to Christmas shop with a name in mind. My friends and co-workers are probably just asking to make small talk when they see me, but I'm pretty certain they could care less. Still, it contributes to the volume of the same question-and-answer process.

So let this be a warning to you over-zealous little badgers... keep it up at this rate, and I'm gonna name the newborn "Baby".

What??

Yes, I said it. And if you know me, and if you know Jenni, you know that I could pull this off.

If it's one other thing we share, it's a wild sense of humor. I often thing that's the only thing we have in common and part of the only reason she's kept me around all these years. Which is fine by me. After all, if she was only just about my looks, she may have left me a while back when my hair started running away and my belt line start approaching a 36. I suppose as long as I don't become a manic depressive, I'll always have a fighting chance. :-)

Anyways...

I could totally convince her to name it Baby. And the whole world would be quite irritated. And I would smile.

I'd probably have to provide an "out clause", like promise that we would change it after a couple of months or something like that. But could you imagine what those couple months would be like? Totally amazing. At least from our perspective. 

I could watch all the strangers on the street or in the mall who come up and ask,"What's her name?" become totally horrified when I tell them "Just baby," and then pull out the matching birth certificate to prove it. Someone call MTV, this could be a reality show hit!

Plus, we could watch her features develop and then appropriate a name based on what she would look like. I think everyone, in their mind, has a certain look for names like Nancy, Ann, Heather, Brittney, etc. So maybe that could be a nice plus.

None of this is in line to happen as of yet... but keep it up with the full court press, and all this could be a possibility. So just hold your water, everybody. We're working on the problem and we'll get back to you soon.

Don't be that person who causes our child to have an ambiguous first name. :-D

Pregnancy Love

This week we entered our 3rd trimester.  Throughout my pregnancy I have been hearing "You just wait".  Anytime something new and exciting would happen, as soon as I shared it with anyone I heard a chorus of the "You just wait's".  For example, Me: I think I felt the baby kick this past weekend!  Them:  "You just wait until that baby is kicking you so hard you wonder if a bone is broken" or "You just wait until that baby kicks you so hard in the ribs it takes you breath away".  This got really frustrating for me as I just wanted to bask in the little milestones that make being pregnant so special.

I have loved being pregnant.  I feel like I've been chosen to do something way more significant with my life than my previous world could imagine.  It's like God smiled down on us and thought we would be the perfect people to raise this little baby.  I know I'm not Mary and didn't get visited by an angel in my sleep, but I can imagine what she felt like being chosen to carry God's son.  It's an honor and priviledge to carry a little baby within my body.

So onto the reason for this post.  I've been told the "honeymoon" phase of pregnancy is about to end and things will get really uncomfortable.  Baby girl is growing quite fast at this point and I can see where that may be true in the last couple of months.  So before I get to that stage, if I get to that stage, I wanted to record all the many things I have enjoyed throughout the past 27 weeks:

1.  I love feeling you kick and move everyday
2.  I love seeing your little heartbeat on the ultrasounds
3.  I love hearing your heartbeat at every appointment
4.  I love watching my belly grow and watching my belly button disappear
5.  I love daydreaming about who you are and who you will be
6.  I love talking (and sometimes singing)  to you when no one else is around
7.  I love guessing what position your in
8.  I love seeing the excitement in our friends and family for your arrival
9.  I love that you've mellowed me out
10. I love the two tiny strechmarks on my scar from the last time
11. I love that you have been so easy to carry
12. I love how protective I've become of the people I love
13. I love figuring out what you like and don't like to eat
14. I love making things for you
15. I love the new realms of humor that being pregnant produces
16. I love critiquing the bathrooms at every establishment I visit
17. I love being overwhelmed because everything is new and unpredictable
18. I love that my hair is so thick and healthy right now
19. I love that I don't have to wear makeup because of the "glow"
20. I love not being cold all the time.  For once I can warm Mike up...
21. I love not having to lift heavy things
22. I love not being concerned about the number on the scale
23. I love playing clothing roulette every morning when getting dressed
24. I love learning about how your growing every week
25. I love having a reason to browse the baby section guilt free
26. I love walking to one side every morning because you grew over night
27. I love the strength of Mike and I relationship now
28. I love that your stubborn when it comes to other people feeling you move
29. I love the smoothness of my skin
30. I love that I get to carry you with me always
31. I love the night vision that comes with going to the bathroom 5 times a night
32. I love all the snacks
33. I love going to the doctor
34. I love the chivalry of total strangers
35. I love that you stretch everytime I stand up into whatever space is created.
36. I love rubbing my belly
37. I love that for once my belly is the first thing to touch in a hug
38. I love that my body knew what to do to nurture you
39. I love the happiness that just the thought of you invokes
40. I love being pregnant.  I simply love being pregnant!

Thanks for checking in on us, nothing too exciting is going on right now.  We're mainly just growing at this point.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Finally... A Nursery Vision

I have been struggling with coming up with a clear vision of what I wanted the baby's nursery to look like.  I knew I didn't want to do anything that is too mainstream right now, which is tending to be on the outdoorsy / woodland creature / owl side.  Not that those aren't adorable, because they are, I just have seen several friends have the same category of nursery.  And while I may get some criticism for the direction I'm taking, I'm happy with how it will look (if it comes out anything like the vision in my head...)

So on my quest come up with something cute and a little outside of the box, my parents offered me some artwork they purchased when we were little and didn't use.  There are three limited edition prints by Ron Rodecker, a southern California artist who does dragon drawings/watercolors.  He is also responsible for the drawings on the PBS show Dragon Tales.  These particular prints are from a different line and all feature a whimsical dragon and balloons.  Here is my favorite of the three:

As you can see there are lots of colors in the print to choose from, but I still struggled with how to pick out bedding and wall color etc. 

Then last week my mom and I went to start our baby registry and none of the options at the store were jumping out at me until we went down the clearance isle and ran across a set that had a castle on it, well actually, it was princess motif.  We sat there for a few moments discussing the possibilities that this set could hold, but at that point we were both pretty tired and I was past the point of being able to make another decision.  Registry shopping is overwhelming and exhausting!  So we left and I went online the next day to look at the set and see if it could work.  Wouldn't you know, I couldn't find it in their online catalog.  So then I tried googling it and still couldn't find what I thought I remembered from the store.  Why didn't I write down the brand name or set name?  Stupid pregnancy brain!  In curiosity I then googled for anything princess and nursery.  Now, I really didn't want princesses, I was more interested in the castle because dragons and castles go together.  Then something caught my eye.

I love this set!  It's not too princessy (yes I made that word up ;) ), it has the castle that ties into the dragons, it's still pink and girly.  All of the flowers are ribbon appliqued on.  Perfect!  Now I just had to get Mike on board.  Not very hard, he tends to agree with whatever I decide I like, as long as the baby will have bedding he's cool.  Mikey likes it!  So I set off to find and register it.  First site, out of stock.  Second site, out of stock.  Third site, out of stock.  Fourth site, out of stock.  I'm beginning to sense a pattern here... please tell me they're still making it... Please tell me they're still making it.  Ah, manufactures website, go.  Discontinued!?!  Can I start pouting now?  You know I haven't had the emotional break down yet, maybe this will be my calm and cool ruin...  I could however, find sheets, the other blanket, diaper holder, and mobile.  What good will that do me if I can't get the crib set?  I even checked eBay to see if I could find it there, nothing!  Finally, I found it on Sears website through a third party seller.  They had a new set in stock!  Yes!  Ordered. Done.  Happy bubble restored :D.

Now I'm just waiting for it to arrive.  I hope it's as pretty in person as it is in all the pictures.  I'm still working on a lot of the details, but I'm thinking I will paint the walls a light pink and have the prints matted and framed in one of the other colors on the set once it gets here.  At least I finally have a direction and vision of what the nursery will look like.  So if you are reading this and want to get us something for the nursery, think more castles and dragon's than princess...  I know "princess" is a popular theme right now, but I don't want it to go too far in that direction...  Pink and flowers or whimsy is more the vibe I want to establish.  It'll be awhile before I can post pictures of the actual nursery, but this is my starting point...  Whew... One stress down.

One stress down and two up... The third trimester starts in a week!  What!?!  I thought I still had loads of time left.  Who is stealing all the time?  Give it back!  Don't make me have words with you father time, I know your holiday is coming up... EEK!

hop hop. help.

Hop Hop... Help

I am used to being a fairly independant person.  I don't rely on others to do for me what I can do myself.  Throughout this pregnancy, I have been known to say that I'm pregnant, not an invalid.  However, this pregnancy thing has really slowed me down to the point that I now have to ask for help on things that I never thought I would (or at least never thought I would at age 29).  So maybe I am becoming an invalid...

For example, this past weekend I actually had some free time to work on getting my house ready to make space for all the baby stuff we will be needing and using.  While the organizing and cleaning part went smoothly without any hiccups, I decided now would be a great time to rearrange the funiture in my room to make it more spacious.  This included moving my bed.  I almost immediately realized that I would not be able to move this piece with the same ease as I did before pregnancy, but did that have to stop me?  Nope.  I worked it out.  I proceeded to sit on the floor and move the bed corner by corner using a pushing technique with my feet.  I was so proud of myself for thinking of an innovative way to move furniture that didn't strain my back and I didn't have to pick anything up or bend over.  Score!  Or... actually... not score.  I got my bed into place, took a break to eat dinner and quickly realized my back did not agree with my previous assessment.  Man this pregancy thing takes a toll on your body.  Everything health wise has been so smooth that it catches me off guard that I can't do everything that I want to.  Between belly and boobs my poor back has about all the weight it can reasonably handle.  And I'm supposed to get bigger?  Yikes!

Another example, Monday I get to work and our Crystal Water cooler was empty.  It's one of those that holds a five gallon jug.  Normally I would just grab a new one, but after the weekends debacle with the bed and my back, I had to decide what would be the smart thing to do.  Bend over, pick up the jug, heft it up to the proper hieght and change it?  Or swallow my pride, realize my limitations and go get someone to do this for me.  I think you all will be happy to know that I went and got a man to help... It was embarrasinig, but I have gotten to that point.  Look at me growing ~ haha!

Then yesterday, my car was car was acting up on my way to work.  I could not get it to accelerate properly and quickly realized there would be no way I would make it to Gallatin.  I pulled over and called Mike to come rescue me, which he gladly did.  Once he got there and we worked out our game plan on getting the car to the mechanic and me to work we set off.  Here is our conversation in the car:

Jen:  My knight in shiny black (he was wearing a black fleece), thanks for rescueing me!  I know you don't like getting up in the morning...
Mike: No problem, I was still up from taking Haley to school
Jen:  Well I really appreciate you coming back to Hendersonville for me
Mike: Well I can't have my kangroo out here stranded...
            hop hop.  help
            hop hop.  help

(Now, I'm sure you all know Mike and can hear him saying this to me, and his "help" was really small and pathetic sounding)

Jen:  Hahahahahaha!  I'm not that pathetic yet, am I?
Mike:  Nope, but I gotta make sure I take care of my momma kangaroo
Jen:  Well, we love you knight in shiny black
Mike: Love you too, now can I interest you in some drive through breakfast?

I guess I should have prefaced this conversation by letting you all know that Mike has been calling me his kangaroo ever since my baby bump started showing.  (Because I have a pouch with a baby in it).  While this analogy bothered me at first, I've come to really love it!  Just in case you didn't get the same mental picture of being a kangroo I mocked up the following cartoon:

I guess I should be happy that have people around me all the time who are willing to help.  I'm trying to get used to my new limitations, but it's hard to adjust.  Hopefully at some point, I'll start to enjoy being able to sit back and direct!  I hear it's a perk of being pregnant :D!

Halloween Baby

**Warning this post contains pictures from inside of me**

A few weeks ago I wrote a post stating that we have had an ultrasound at every single one of our appointments.  Well, that streak was broken yesterday at our 24 weeks check-up.  But because of all our ultrasounds, I've had a hodge podge of ultrasound pictures, some of them great and some of them that look like a blurry mess.  It amazes me how magical the ultrasounds are to watch, but the pictures just don't do it justice.  Probably because you can't see her move in pictures or watch her little heart pumping.  We have a DVD from our 20 week ultrasound that I find myself watching whenever I've had a stressful day.  There's just something about seeing our sweet little baby moving around in her own little world that is very calming to me.

Anyway, back to the point.  With Halloween approaching I have decided to share some of her pictures with you.  They are taken from different weeks and check-ups but needless to say she's going to be a skeleton this year:

                                     

19.5 Weeks

This is the full view of her "costume"

16.5 Weeks

Here is a close up of her head and "mask"

And the one that will really scare you...

17.5 Weeks

She's coming to get you!

This last picture is really pretty freaky in picture form.  However, if you were in the room with us when it happened you would've been saying "Awe" as she turned directly towards us and yawned.  It was such a sweet moment and a reminder that she already is a little person.  At this stage in pregnancy all of her organs and parts are formed and she is working on growing bigger and practicing for her entrance into this world.  It's kinda cool if you think about it.  And yes she is practicing, her little kicks have certainly gotten stronger and she seems to be taking up more space than ever before.

I'll go ahead and give a quick update from our checkup yesterday since I'm sure it's not enough to warrant a separate post:  Everything is right on track.  It started off with a glucose screen to see if I might be developing gestational diabetes.  It's totally routine, but I won't know the results of the screen for a few days.  The doctor had absolutely no trouble finding her heartbeat, 156 bmp.  He has also started measuring my fundal height (which is the measurement of my baby bumb).  Right now, I'm measuring slightly large.  He didn't seem to be too concerned about this as I haven't gained more weight than I should, but said it could be the way she was positioned and if not she could be a bigger baby. 

While I want a healthy, strong baby, I'm kinda hoping she's not too big.  I still haven't come to terms with the whole "birthing" process.  In fact at this point, my birth plan is something along the lines of The Sims.  You know a few groans and then the baby appears magically above your head and you just have to catch her while everyone stands around and cheers you on...  I think that is the way to go.  Haha ~ Wishful Thinking right!?!

Anyways, Happy Halloween everyone, thanks for checking in on us!



Aren't You Supposed To Be The Pregnant One?

I'm pretty certain that you're supposed to gain weight when you're pregnant. I was not, however, expecting to gain more weight than the pregnant person over that stretch.

That is apparently the case as of now. Jen has been gaining the required pound or two on schedule, as most people growing a person inside their stomach would expect. I have somehow managed to outgain her over the last couple months, and I'm looking for an answer as we speak.

Right before we had discovered the impending arrival of our new baby girl, I had just stopped a short-lived diet in which I had lost about 14 lbs. It's one of those self-maintenance things that I have to do every so often to prevent morbid obesity or diabetes, seeing as how I tend to eat nothing but food items consisting of mostly cheese or sugar. That weight loss put me around the 190 lbs. mark, which is still about 10 lbs. more that where I'd like to be.

But after feasting on mostly salad and white meat for a month or so, I had gone on strike and decided to return to my regular schedule of pizza and Ben & Jerry's. So you could see how me gaining all that weight back came as a total shock. Before you know it, I wound up just a shade below the weight cutoff for riding on elevators by myself.

The other day, Jenni made that pouty face that she makes with the eyes looking down and sticking out her bottom lip. After I asked her what's wrong, she replied, "I'm getting fat, honey." I said, "No, sweetie, you're gorgeous. You're not fat at all."  She proceeded to disagree and call me a liar, to which I replied, "If, at any point over the next couple of months, you feel like you're abnormally heavy, just stand next to me and no one will notice." She gave me a truly puzzled look, but I'm sure she's figured it out by now.

Also a bit strange is the fact that I've begun craving things and had some minor mood swings over the last couple of weeks. Nothing creepy or over-the-top, but it's been enough to notice. For example, I stayed up the other night watching "Mr. Holland's Opus" in its entirety. Although I've probably watched it about ten times, I managed to boo-hoo at the end like I'd never seen it before. Jenni, however, has remained mostly serene if not completely normal 99 percent of the time.

Just about two weeks ago, I managed to sprain my ankle pretty badly at work. Not wanting to sit out injured and miss a big payday on a busy weekend, I worked through the pain at the expense of my foot and ankle health. While that decision was totally worth it and I made an obscene amount of money for three days of work, I've now been waddling around with a handicapped swagger while displaying a swollen ankle.

Are you seeing a pattern??

Let's recap: weight gain, mood swings, strange cravings, swollen ankle.

Up until this afternoon, there was growing cause for concern that I may, in fact, also be pregnant. As unlikely and scary a scenario as that may have been, I'm at least showing all the side effects. But then things began to roll back to the original script this afternoon when Jenni texted me from work.

Jen:  Hey, you busy tonight?
Me:  I'm gonna watch the game, why?
Jen:  Oh, is that super important to you?
Me:  Well, i guess not. What's up?
Jen:  Can I treat you to a pedicure tonight?
Me:  Um... really?
Jen:  Apparently not.
Me:  Why apparently not?
Jen:  Because of your reaction. I thought you were just giving me a crazy look via text.
Me:  It was not a crazy look. I'm just scared.
Jen:  You shouldn't be scared, what are you scared of?
Me:  A pedicure? I have sensitive feet and I've never had one.
Jen:  Nevermind.

In the end, I chose the football game and kept my pedicure virginity intact.  This alone proves that there is no reason to be alarmed and that all of my "sympathy weight" and maternity symptoms were just a pure coincidence. :-)

It's A...

Okay I know I've been slacking in putting up the results of our Gender Reveal Party Sunday night.  Before I let all of you in on the not so little secret anymore, I wanted to write a bit about how the party went.  I wish I had taken some pictures of all the decoration's I made for the party, but it just got away from me.  I always seem to think I'll have time for that before a party starts, but ineveitably I'm working and perfecting things right up until guests start arriving.

We invited our immediate family to share in the big moment of finding out what our sweet little baby will be.  I made invitations and sent them around asking guests to come dressed in blue or pink depending on what they thought or hoped baby Gill would be.  Here is a list of who came and their color choice:

Team Pink:
Me - The Mom
Haley - The Big Sister
Mike - My Dad
Bethany - My Sister
Jessea - My Sister-In-Law

Team Blue:
Mike - The Dad
Judy - My Mom
David - Mike's Brother
Braden - David's son and 1st cousin of baby Gill
Todd - Mike's Brother
Charity - Todd's Fiance
Cherry - Mike's Sister
Jennifer - Cherry's daughter and 1st cousin of baby Gill
Danny - My Brother
Melissa - Haley's Mom

Team Green:
Sue - Mike's Mom (In fairness she did wear both a blue and pink ribbon)

The blue team definately outnumbered the pink team.  We had pizza, fruit and veggies for everyone to eat and socialize before we did our one activity.  I had special ordered blue and pink soda's from Jones Soda that I had our baby's ultrasound picture put on with a little poem on the back.  Definately a hit at the party!  I think more than one person took their bottle home with them and I kept 2 bottles (a pink and a blue) as a keepsake for our little one.

So after we all had full bellies we broke down some tables and got ready for the one activity that I had planned.  I looked up a bunch of wives tales online and fashioned some questions so that we could tally the results before we opened the box that contained our card that contained our baby's gender.  Anyways, my dad asked the questions and the tally's for a little girl rapididly stacked up.  It got to the point where everytime another tally would go up there'd be a slight sigh and all our team blue people were hoping the next question would have an answer that pointed to boy.  It was a lot of fun!

Finally the big moment arrived.  You could cut the anticipation with a knife.  My heart was pounding, Mike's heart was pounding, it had all come down to this moment.  After waiting so long, it almost didn't seem real that we would know in a matter of seconds what our baby would be...  I let Mike open the box that contained the card.  For some reason I had gotten really possesive of the card and wanted to be the one to open it, selfish I know!  We get the card out and I open the envelope and read the card to everyone.  Now I can't take credit for the poem as I got it off a forum but here is the card:

Big Drumroll Please.....

tatatatatatatatatatatatatatata

tatatatatatatatatatatatatata

............................................

So there you go!  Baby Gill is Little Girl!  Baby Girl Gill the Sequel!  So excited to finally know and be able to start shopping for cute little girl things.  And I know some of you are asking yourselves how Mike took it.  He is as excited as ever about this little girl and says he's not disappointed at all!  So yay!  Thanks to everyone who came to the party and a big shout out to my co-worker Diane who locked the card away from me to keep me from peeking before the party and for wrapping the box.  She did a fantastic job :D

And I just found out my sister video'd the moment of our reveal, check it out on her blog at:

Jenni's Gender Reveal

I hope this link works :-D

Cast Your Vote!

Hiya!! Well with our gender reveal party rapidly approaching I thought I would give all of you out there in CyberLand an opportunity to cast your vote in what you think Mike and I will be having. I have bit the bullet and am actually posting a belly picture. Eeek! And yes, I know it's not the greatest picture, just be happy I have the confidence to post one at all at this point ~ haha!!  I have been really resistant to do these types of photos because I still look like I've had one too many doughnuts instead of pregnant. MMM...A doughnut actually sounds kinda good right now :D. So does a peanut butter banana sandwich... It must be lunch time!   Anyways back on subject, this is me at 21.5 weeks.


To help you out I've put in a few questions I get asked when people are making their guestimations:


What do you crave? Sweet or Salty?
Sweet (But you should be aware that I craved sweet before I was pregnant too)


Still no nausia or sickness?
Nope, I haven't encountered it yet.


Do you prefer to sleep on your right or left side?
Right


What do you think it is?
A baby. (This is my first baby so I have nothing to compare it too :D )

Leave a comment with what you think it will be or send an email.  I tried to find a simple poll to track this, but most of the ones I found make you text in your response.  I would be unwilling to do that, so I won't ask that of any of you!  I will create a graph to show the results though as I have time to update it.  Thanks y'all!!

Countdown to G Day!

Thoughts on Pregnancy Thus Far

Well, I'm still pregnant.  Just thought I'd put that out there in case any of you were actually wondering how things are going.  We've had two appointments since my last post.  Everything is looking good and cooking right along.  We've had ultrasounds at every single one of our appointments.  I would show you the pictures from those sessions, but they are really not that great since we weren't supposed to be looking at the baby.  But our ultrasound tech, Leena, always let us take a peek since we were already in there and paying for it.  On second thought, there is one that I may put up, but I'll save it for Halloween as it's a little freaky. 

This Thursday is our 20 week ultrasound.  We are nearly half way through ~ yikes!  I guess I better knuckle down and start attacking that closet I've been meaning to clear out, and maybe start thinking about what we will need in order to take care of little one once it gets here.  On an up note, we will have the gender of the baby in hand at the end of this session, on a down note, our reveal party isn't scheduled until Oct 16th, so we won't actually know until then.  We could've found out 3 weeks ago, but I said we'd wait, much to Mike's dissatisfaction (I would've let us know, except as previously admitted to by Mike, he can't keep a secret to save his life, and it's not fair for me to know and not him).

Anyways, my thoughts on pregnancy so far:  Well I wish I had some big exciting or horror story to share with you, as nearly every woman I've come in contact with has shared one with me, but I don't.  It's been really easy for me so far. Knock on wood!  I haven't had crazy cravings or morning sickness.  I haven't turned into some ferocious monster who will bite your head off for looking at me the wrong way or started crying for no apparent reason.  All things I fully expected to happen to me as those who know me know I can be a bit extreme at times.  Actually, I think it's mellowed me out a bit.  I'm gonna miss this feeling of level headedness ~ haha!  A few gripes here and there, but even those have been more than tolerable.  Such as, I can't wait to have ankles again as mine seem to stay in a perpetual state of swollen.  Having my organs rearranged was a bit uncomfortable, but those seem to be pretty minor compared to what some women have gone through.  Maybe I'm like my mom who was built to have babies :-D.

Most exciting thing recently, is that I believe I have started to feel the baby kick!  I wasn't sure at first what I feeling as it usually happened when I was really hungry.  But I've been feeling it more frequently, so I'm thinking it's little one.  For all you men out there and women who haven't been pregnant before it feels like someone is tapping you from the inside.  Or like a band of Mexican jumping beans is putting on a concert and there is moshing involved.  Rock on little one!  Actually, I usually take this as my baby screaming "Pay Attention To Me!"  Which I try to do, really I do, but it's weird talking to your stomach.  Especially since I still look like I've had one too many doughnuts instead of pregnant.  What if someone sees me!?  "Hi, baby... I felt that... how you doin... did you like that applesauce?... I love you..."  It's just awkward.  And reading aloud is questionable as I feel like I am boring the poor little thing, "Did you know you're about 6" long? and developing rapidly now? You might be able to hear my voice..." So yeah, I'll need to practice this bonding thing a bit more.

But seriously, it is completely wonderful to feel those kicks and jabs!  Such a wonderful reminder of the work God is doing within me to knit a new life together with a unique personality, talents, and gifts.  I feel a bit in awe that I would be chosen to carry such a wonderful gift.  Only God knows the paths of this little one, but to be a part of it from the start is such an honor.  I only hope we can be good parents and teachers and raise this baby to see all the wonder and beauty of this world.

A Fun Frolic Into The Future

Jen and I had a conversation the other day over pancakes. We were innocently theorizing about how our unborn child would compose its personality from our own unique characteristics and what kind of combination we should expect in approximately five months. It was a mind-expanding conversation to say the least.

First, to understand the imaginary results of our findings, you must first understand who we are. And not just the two sparkling winners that all you peeps out there in blog-reader land probably know and love, but the sarcastic, flawed and wildly imperfect jesters that we tend to be when no one is looking.

So, in the interest of chivalry, we'll go ladies' first. :-)

Jen is a warm, charming and bright woman. She has a heart of pure gold and enjoys people who are considerate and polite, because she is never anything less than that to them. There is a slight bit of OCD hidden beneath the surface which adds to the "cute" factor but doesn't come off as crazy.  Jen is the curious cat that sees the small bit of thread hanging off the sweater and has to fix it. She loves board games and any type of activity that involves a group and allows for one to think outside the box. She puts a high value on ceremony and tradition, and always keeps her promises. She is a really terrible speller but has an affinity for hand-written notes. All these, in addition to those big, beautiful eyes and bright smile, are what made me fall head-over-heels in love with her four years ago today.

Our child is destined to inherit a few of these perks and qwirks, which is awesome. But when I think of what my side brings to the table, I start to worry just a touch.

My full name is Michael Shane Gill. According to most of the blood relatives who came before me, I'm mostly Irish-Italian with some other random notes tossed in for good measure. Some positives about me include a musical background, a willingness to see things through and a penchant for being very personable and unafraid to engage strangers in a conversation. I'm pretty good with numbers and patterns, and I can't stand when someone uses really awful grammar (either verbally or in text). On the other hand, I tend to not be on time. Ever. I can't seem to wake up at the correct hour and I procrastinate horribly. I tend to put off shaving every Sunday which drives Jenni nuts. I go through streaks where I swear way too much and I truly suck at keeping secrets.

Now Jenni has learned over the last 1,460 days how to work around my lesser qualities and ways to either refine my bad habits or outright ignore them. And she's really, really good at it. However, once we mix all these into a new bundle of joy, I'm somewhat petrified at the possibilities. Imagine with me, if you will.

1) A bright, charming child who sleeps all day and swears uncontrollably. Ugh... no good.

2)  A child with extreme attention to detail who can't keep a secret. I'll have to watch every word I say for the rest of my life! Hahaha... could turn out to be an awesome reporter in the long run though.

3) A musician with a heart of gold and perfect grammar. That actually sounds pretty good, seeing as how that hasn't really been done yet. :-)

There were several more possibilities we discussed at length that got crazier and more outrageous. Stuff like that makes us chuckle more than cringe, since we are going to love this child no matter what and we both share some pretty extreme senses of humor.

More in a bit.... stay tuned!

SweetTart Jelly Bean Invasion

My boss loves a good practical joke.  I was recently the target of one of his pranks.  Here's how it went down:


The Set Up:  A coworker called me over to her desk to ask for help on an Excel spreadsheet.  Leaving my cubicle open for a pending attack.


The Prank:  12 bags of SweetTart Jelly Beans invaded my space while I was gone.  They found their way into drawers, shelves, on my desk, under my desk, behind my computer, under my phone etc...  It was a well thought out and planned attack.  The Jelly Beans had organized.


The Prankster:  My boss, John


The Back Story:  When a new employee starts at our company it is a tradition they have an interview with HR.  HR then sends around a flyer of unique facts about them as an introduction.  On my flyer it listed SweetTart Jelly Beans as my favorite candy.  If you've never had these treats, you are missing out!  They are only available at Easter and are never one of the candies that go on clearance because they've always sold out long before.  Anyway, when my boss found out I was pregnant he began searching for these treats for me.  Not an easy task as they are certainly not in season in August.  After a lot of searching on the internet, he was able to find a vendor online that had them in stock and available to ship.  He ordered me a 7 month supply which I turned out to be a dozen bags.  If you never seen 12 bags of jelly beans, that's a lot of candy!!!  When I asked him how and why he did this, he said I should have my favorite candy during my pregnancy in case I got a craving, so he wanted to make sure I had these on hand, just in case. 


I work at an amazing company full of wonderful people and am truly blessed to be working in this environment.  The fact that I have a boss who would go so far above and beyond is amazing.  I hope that everyone gets to work at a company like this at some point in their lives!

But in case you become the target of a future attack or you find yourself amongst the Jelly Beans:

You've been warned!  It's too late for me, but you can still save yourself...

Rebuke

There is a word floating around our office right now that has become the butt of many jokes.  Rebuke.  We don’t often hear this word in everyday speech anymore, however, this past weekend I was rebuked by several people who I love very dearly and feel I need to address this issue before moving forward.  While I have responded to these people individually, I thought I should write this as a way to give some insight into our lives and maybe some understanding.

First off, I would hope that if you are reading my blog you know me well enough to know that I would never force myself or my decisions on anyone.  It is not in my immediate nature to do so.  I am well aware that my pregnancy is uncomfortable and not easily explained to children who are being raised, as I was, to think that you need to be married to have a baby.  For those that have expressed this exact sentiment I appreciate your honesty and respect your point of view.  I will do what is in my power to uphold those values if or when I am around you or your children.  In others words, I will not flaunt my situation or try to change your way of thinking.  I will not, however, miss important events in my loved ones lives if I am invited or asked to be there.  I am not self-important enough to think the world revolves around me.  I would never want or try to take the focus off of whomever or whatever event I am attending.  It is their day and their day alone.

Mike and I’s situation is unique in and of itself.  We have been together for 4 years and I am an active role model and adult in his 11 year old daughter’s life.  We struggle along with her mother and step father to raise a child in today’s scary world.  It is a very different world than the one you or I grew up in.  They are bombarded with subject matter above their maturity nearly everywhere they go.  Every new piece of technology poses a new threat to our sweet children.  The internet can be accessed through not only computers, but their DS, PSP, Wii, Xbox, Cell phones, etc.  A smart kid can figure out how to hide a multitude of information if they want to.   I have always believed in protecting a child’s innocence and I am more than ever committed to that end.

We have chosen to not get married at this time for our own reasons.  We will probably end up married at some point, but it will not be before the baby comes.  To give Mike his credit, he has offered to marry me several times.  This weekend was also rough on him as he would do whatever he could to protect me from the scrutiny I have come under.  I stand by my previous decision to wait until we can have the wedding that we want.  That is probably pretty selfish of me, but if Mike is willing to wait, so can the rest of y’all.  We will raise this baby together and are committed to one another, that is all most of you need to know.

I have always viewed babies as a blessing.  As such, I see my baby as a blessing.  Did I deserve it?  No.  But it was bestowed and entrusted to me to raise.  I will not be ashamed of any blessing I have received.  Because I have been given a blessing, I will strive to be a blessing to others and teach my child that as well.

Finally, I need to apologize to everyone whom I have hurt by the way I handled this pregnancy.  This is completely new territory for me and I felt that if I did a big reveal or anything cutesy it would be perceived as I am not taking it seriously, or that I am flaunting an un-Christlike way of living.  I was unable to form the words “I am pregnant” for the longest time.  Even when telling my family, I used other language.  It is not an easy thing to share something so personal and controversial.  There is one person in particular who I have hurt.   I really did want to tell this person myself in person and did not make it to her house in time.  I don’t know how to make it up to her.  I completely understand her feelings and would feel the exact same way.  I can only hang my head in shame and beg for forgiveness.  I am truly truly sorry.  I hope you can forgive me.  You are a valuable person in my life.

For myself, I was reminded at church this weekend that no one can separate us from the love of God.  Grace is free.  It can not be bought, sold or earned.  It is there for our taking.  I still believe I am a child of God and that He holds me in the palm of His hand.  We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God.  Luckily, I know the story doesn’t end there and we’ve all been redeemed through Jesus.  I will continue on my Christian walk through Faith.

Bottom line, if you’ve actually read this far, is: I CHOOSE LOVE.  I do not love anybody any less than I did before this weekend.  I respect our individual right to an opinion and way of life.  I will continue to think of you all in a loving way and will pray for blessings on you and your families.  Please know that voicing honest emotions and feelings will never be punishable in my book.  I love you.

Pictures from inside me... Eeek!

**Warning this post contains pictures from inside me**

So most of you have read my previous posts, hopefully, and will understand my disclaimer on this post.  I fully understand that ultrasound pictures creep some people out as they do not want to see inside of people they barely know.  I'm trying to be mindful of that while sharing my Little One's second photo shoot with y'all.  I won't bother showing you the first session as it really just looks like a blob instead of a baby.

But first a little background on these pictures.  We went for our monthly check-up around 11.5 weeks.  After waiting in the waiting room for about 45 min, we were called back to see my doctor.  We go through all the routine questions and information exchanging, then my doctor pulls out his doppler and says we're gonna take a quick listen to the baby's heartbeat.  So I lie back and stare at the "comforting" butterflies in a tree picture that cover his florenscent light.  I am preparing to hear the whooshing sound of my Little Ones heart any minute and actually have the thought that this is the first time that picture doesn't remind me of something unpleasant.  A few minutes go by and I can't hear anything.  A few more minutes go by and I still can't hear anything. 

At this point I look nervously at my doctor who is concentrating very hard trying to locate the Little One.  I glance at Mike who is completely unaware of the panic rising in me.  This should be routine right!?!  Did I miss something?  Surely I would know if something bad had happened in between.  So I try to concentrate on the picture and trust my doctor to tell me when I need to be panic'd.  A few more minutes go by, still static.  My doctor finally tells me after about 10 min that he thinks he found the baby for a few seconds, but that he wants to send me to ultrasound. His exact words were, "I'll sleep better tonight, and you'll definately sleep better tonight if we just take a quick look". 

So off Mike and I go to wait for the ultrasound tech to come and get us.  Let me tell you, time is tricky when you're fighting panic!  Those 10 minutes felt like a lifetime.  I could barely talk to Mike at this point because I'm concentrating all my efforts on praying that everything is ok.  And I don't want to voice what is really going through my head.

The very wonderful ultrasound technician takes us back and is super comforting and supportive.  We get things rolling and almost immediately there is Little One having a party of his/her own!  I'm talking kicking, punching, twirling, just having a ball in it's own little world completely oblivious to the panic that I'm encountering.  I'm sure to him/her my accelerated heartbeat was just dance music.  Or that's what I'm choosing to believe, anyway.  After the three of us had a giggle at the antics of our baby, the technician lets us hear the heartbeat, a healthy 188. Then she asks us if big feet run in our families, not to my knowledge we both say, but then she shows us it's feet and they do look proportionately large.  Oh well, Little One's healthy that's all that matters to us!

So our very nerve wracking appointment ended up with a great outcome ~ an unexpected ultra sound and pictures of our Little One which I will now share with y'all.  God is good!

This is our baby profile at 11.5 weeks.

This is the back of our baby, you can see it's arm in the air like it's waiving.

The infamous foot and leg.

Our crowning jewel of this session, the baby with it's foot propped up maxing and relaxing.

I hope y'all have enjoyed these pictures, we sure have!  We won't have another ultrasound until our 20wk check up. (Hopefully, if Little One will co-operate next time)  At that point we will given our baby's gender in an envelope which we will reveal to all of you after our "Gender Reveal Party" with our families.  Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

My Current FAQ's

Let's kick things off with my Frequently Asked Questions:

When are you due?
February 20, 2012 (although I'm kinda hoping I'll be a day late so the birthday would be 022112)

So that makes you how far along right now?
14 Weeks, 2nd Trimester (3 months pregnant for those who believe pregnancy is 9 months, 4 months pregnant if you're a mom and realize pregnancy is really 10 months long (40weeks))

Are you excited!?
Yeah, I'm getting there.  I spent my first few month's going back and forth between terrified and "ok".  I'm starting to get to the excited phase.  I really struggled at first with the thought of FOREVER.  There's no going back.  There's going to be a person in this world who will call me mom and my decisions will mold him/her FOREVER.  Yikes!  That's a really long time with no alternatives.  Not that I'm not ready, but it is FOREVER.  No matter what age he/she will be, he/she will still be my child.

How do you feel?
For the most part I've had a relatively easy pregnancy so far.  I never had morning sickness, and from what I've read I think I would've encountered it by now if it was going to be an issue.  I did, however, have the fatigue that comes with growing a person.  There were several lunch hours spent in my car taking a nap just to get through the afternoon.  My bedtime has gotten earlier and earlier, I've felt like Sleeping Beauty, only I had stupid work I had to go to and couldn't stay in bed all day. (I really do love my job though, it was just pregnancy exhaustion and hormones)

So, are y'all going to get married?
We've been talking about it.  My thought is, this is such a huge adjustment for me, that I need to get through one life change at a time.  I've always envisioned my wedding a certain way and I want the opportunity to plan it the way I want to.  Right now I'm in baby planning mode and it's stressful enough.  Yes I realize we're not doing things "traditionally" but we've been together 4 years, I know he's not going anywhere and neither am I.  This baby will have both parents that love each other and him/her.

What did your parents say?
Well first off, I'm not a child, I have my own job with benefits, I pay my own bills, I'm responsible and self sufficient, etc.  On that note, both my parents took it really well.  It took my mom a couple of days to process it and I think that's normal and to be expected.  She's always like babies and I knew she'd be excited once the shock wore off.  Now she is on board and has taken me shopping for maternity clothes and is ready to be a grandma again.  However, when I told my dad, he completely surprised me!  His smile kept growing and growing and growing until his face was nothing but a smile.  So I'm pretty sure he went right to being excited without having to process it. 

Have you told your boss yet?
Well, I actually had to tell my boss right away.  I have a history that put me in the high risk category in early pregnancy.  So I had to take several afternoon's off for testing until everything was confirmed and it was in the right place.  My boss loves children and has been excited for me all along.  In fact, he really wanted me to tell everyone straight away, but I swore him to secrecy until I was ready at 12 weeks.  Then I wore in my new maternity shirt that says "New Mom February 2012".  When no one noticed for the first hour, he went around and asked people to check out my shirt and the news spread like wildfire.  All of my co-workers are super supportive and happy for me.

Any cravings yet?
The only things I've really craved are fresh fruit and pancakes.  I begged Mike to take me to IHOP one Friday night when he got off work and looked forward to it all evening.  He was happy to oblige and now we go every Friday night around midnight.  It's our little "thing" and it's really meant a lot to me to have that time with him indulging our Little One (<-- What I call our unborn baby)



Oops ~ I forgot one!
Do you want a boy or girl?
I really don't have a preference as long as the baby is healthy!  For me, I think it would be easier to start with a girl since I can relate better.  But Mike really wants a boy since he already has a wonderful daughter named Haley.  I saw this on a kids room sign and it kinda fits for this question: "We'll get what we get, and we won't throw a fit!"  If I slip up and every now and then and refer to the baby as a boy, it's only because Mike is trying to will this one to be a boy and always says "he" or "him".

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog!  I have set up this page to post updates on Mike and I's pregnancy.  In my experience there are people on Facebook and other social media websites that have no clue that the whole world doesn't care what week they're in or their progress throughout pregnancy, nor do they want to see pictures from inside of you.  I have been one of those people hiding friends post because it begins to feel like an assault when you just want to see an upcoming event or what your non-pregnant, non-new mom friends are doing.  Plus, pregnancy can be a very sensitive subject for those who are trying to conceive or are having difficulties in their own lives.  I want to be sensitive to those people, but also have a way to share my excitement in this adventure guilt free.  So I hope what I have to post will be interesting to you, if not then I understand that I'm not the most exciting person in the world ~ haha!  Hope you like it!